Until Its Gone Written by Ryan Williams 9 I woke in a hospital. The over-bearing smell of Glade filled the room. It smelled like bleach and flowers. The room was white, but cast to a light purple by thick curtains. I tugged off a tight blanket that held me to the hospital bed. I pulled open the curtains, and I was instantly blinded by light. I closed my eyes, squinted them open, and I realized the sun was out. Finally, hell was over and heaven was back. The door opened, and a nurse walked in. She looked at me, startled by my wake. She immediately ran back out of the room. I was confused, I tried to get out of bed, and so I again pulled the blanket back so I could sit up. Then as soon as I was about to sit up, she brought company, a scruffy doctor, aunt Jas, Adam, Dawn, Jessica, Chris, Mr. Banks, Ms. Larkin, and Max. Jasmine broke through the crowd and hugged me VERY tight. I saw the doctor reach to Jas, to tell her to stop or something, and the nurse put her hand on the doctor, holding him back. After Jas, Adam and Dawn rushed in to hug me. Then Ms. Larkin. Everyone else was just standing in the doorway, with wide smiles. I saw Max slowly walk in towards me. She hugged me through everyone else. We put our foreheads together, and I finally found peace again. This was broken when the doorway was suddenly filled with news reporters and journalists and cameramen. After looking at the confusion, everyone looked back at me, and we all laughed. After spending about an hour lying in the hospital bed, the press people were all ordered to leave me be. And the first thing I wanted to do was get out of the room. Adam, Dawn, and Max all got in Jas’s car with me. I was in passenger seat, Adam was behind me, and Dawn behind Jas, with Max in the middle seat. “So where are we gonna go to eat?” Jas asked me. I looked back to the rest of the group, looking for suggestions there. They all just stared back at me, as if they were looking for me to answer. “I don’t know,” I said as I rolled down my window and laid my head out of the car, enjoying the breeze and perfect weather outside. I saw one of the reporters walking with her cameraman to their news truck. I listened in to their distinct conversation. “You feel like getting a burger somewhere?” asked the cameraman. “No burgers, but I’d be down for a sandwich right now,” the reporter told him as he opened a door and let her into their news van. That sparked a light bulb in my mind. Sorry. I had to think of food, since hours before I was put in the hospital, an god knows how long I was in there. My favorite sandwich place, don’t judge, but I really like Arby’s, ok? “You guys up for Arby’s?” I ask the posse in the car. They all stared at me for a second, and then I saw Jas start the car quickly. “You don’t have to ask twice for me,” Jas said abruptly. With that, we drove out of the hospital parking lot, and we were free, for once in a long time. “This really was a stellar idea!” Adam tells me from across our booth table, his mouth stuffed with a ham melt. I was sitting next to Max. Dawn was in front of me, to the right of her, Jas, and to her right, Adam. “I told you!” I said laughing. “Really, and don’t talk with your mouth full!” Jas said, raising his jaw with her hand, clamping his mouth shut. “Ow!!! I bit my tongue!!!” we all started laughing. Then, I noticed those same exact news people here too. I reached for Jas’s purse, in the middle of the table. I took a pen, and put her purse back in the middle just as she grabbed it, not at all noticing I took anything. With the pen, I started writing on the napkin. I put the pen in my pocket. Everyone was done eating. I gathered up all the trash and started taking it to the trash box. I passed by the news people’s table, and I’m glad they didn’t recognize I was here yet. As I passed, I laid the napkin down on their table. I dumped the trash. And walked back to my table. When I passed their table again, I saw that they still haven’t seen the note I placed. I got back to my table, we started to leave, as we all left, I looked back to the news people. They were reading the napkin. Then the reporter looked at me, as she did, I left. We loaded up in Jas’s car, and we left. I looked out to see the news people in the doorway of the Arby’s. As I sat back in my seat, I felt eyes digging into my skull, just like the security guard at school. I turned around, and Dawn was staring at me. Not like she was checking me out staring at me, she was watching me. As I turned around, facing forward, I still felt her eyes on me. I did all the way home. Jas pulled into the driveway, her yellow Lexus slipping over some of the gravel in the driveway. I reached to remove my seat belt, catching a glimpse of Dawn, still staring me down. I looked over at Jas to try to get my mind off of it. “How long was I in the hospital?” I asked her as I opened my door and got out of the car. “About a week. You have school work to catch up on…” “I’ll help him,” Dawn interrupted suddenly. She got out of the car, quickly walked over to me, grabbed my arm, and she drug me inside. Jas wasn’t kidding. We were working on schoolwork for about eight hours. It was around ten pm now, still sitting in the living room, Jas was passed out on the couch, again. Adam was in a sleeping bag on the floor. Max was in a recliner, covered with blankets. David Letterman was playing on the TV softly. Dawn and I were at the table with a little lamp giving us light. It felt like a dungeon for some reason. The orange light from the candle illuminating our bookcase made it look like a medieval library. It felt like a dungeon because Dawn was here. After she was lecturing me on what I missed while in the hospital, she stopped. I was still writing notes on some unification process of Germany. Almost as soon as my pencil stopped, she asked me, “What was on the napkin?” She saw everything. “Nothing.” “BULLSHIT!!!” she screamed as she slammed down on the table. Everyone started tossing and turning, but they were still asleep. I looked at her, like ‘are you crazy?!’ and I paused, then sighed, then told her. “I wrote what happened, what I saw, some things that you didn’t see. They wanted a story. They got one. Just not from me. I do NOT feel like retelling what I saw… What I felt… they’re doing their job, and I’m doing mine.” She looked at me blankly, shocked, for a few seconds. Then she looked down. She spoke soft. “How bad was it really? Talking to me, and not the reporters.” She looked up at me. “How bad was it?” I stayed silent for a minute. Just as she inhaled to scream something at me again, I broke out, interrupting. “Bad… very bad… probably an equivalent to hell, or worse, maybe. It’s something I definitely do not want to go through again. I saw things I never want to remember exist. I was surrounded by so much death and pain that I thought I was in a prison, getting hinted by other inmates. I thought I was thrown to the wolves, a cow out to pasture. I thought it was over, but since it’s not, I really don’t get a since of it being any better. Dying would’ve been better than going through it. I mean, what’s the point when nothing good comes out of it, but instead, everything that manages to escape is bad. That’s what I saw. That’s how I felt. That’s how I see it. That’s how I feel about it.” With that, she turned away, standing, going away. And with THAT, my day was over. So I slouched over in the chair, over the table, laying my head down hard. I pinched out the candle, and fell asleep. “WAKE UP!” someone said jumping on my chest. I was instantly thrown into a wake, startled and squirming every which way. When I calmed down to see who it was, it was Max. She was on top standing next to me. I found out the hard way that a table is not a very good resting spot. When I sat back up in my chair properly, I rolled my neck, cracking about eight times. I saw Max wince a little, then start to break into a smile and a laugh, as did I. She was wearing a small, but loose orange t-shirt with a white shirt underneath. She was wearing light skinny jeans, and white Converse. “Get off me,” I say laughing as I roll over, knocking her beneath me, with me on top now. We were both laughing and smiling, but only for a short-lived time. We both stopped, and I stood up, helping her up. As I did, I see Jas, Adam, and Dawn standing in a doorway. Jas was wearing a blue Superman hoodie with jeans torn in the knees and black Converse. Dawn was wearing a plain white shirt underneath a Three Days Grace One-X hoodie, black skinny jeans, and boots. Adam was wearing a Sevendust shirt with jeans and red Converse. I was the only one barren with clothing, in basketball shorts and a tank top. “Ummmm… why are we all dressed up?” “Just get dressed,” Jas says to me as she crosses her arms. “Where are we going?” I ask again. “You’ll see,” Dawn interrupts. I start to walk past them to get to my room. As I pass by Dawn, still a little gloomy looking, I turn to her and say sternly, but yet, still a little playfully, “I guess I will.” I walk past them, and as I start to close the door to my room, I turn around and see on the side of her face, a smile starting to break through. I get in my room, stripping off my tank top, trying not to mess with the gauze wrapped around my torso, from falling on my back, catching Ms. Larkin. I remove my shorts, scraping against my foot, sending a slight shooting pain through my leg. Damn nerves. I use more caution when I pull on my jeans and put on my shoes. I grab a random tee without looking, and like almost everyone else out there, it’s a band shirt, a Shinedown Sound of Madness shirt. I throw it on, gliding it over the gauze. I go back out side, in the hall; no longer the three take the doorway, just Adam, leaning against one side, looking through his mp3 player, which is buried in his face. He notices me, looks up and smiles. “Let’s go, man. The girls are already in the car.” “Alright, but where are we going, man?” He remains quiet for a minute. “I’m not sure. But I do know this. I’m not so sure it’s going to be that good of a thing. I have my hunches every now and then, and they’re always right. And I have a feeling this is not going to be a very good trip.” I look at him, almost staring through him. Then I looked down. He was right. He was never wrong about his hunches. I started towards the front door, him following behind me. We both got in Jas’ car, and we were on our way. I still was indecisive if it was a good or bad thing, with my mind on Adam’s thoughts, his hunch. We ended up back at the hospital. This time, we didn’t go into the emergency area; we went in at the front doors. Jas told me to sit in the waiting room with Adam and Max. We obeyed her order, navigating down hallways lined with waxed wallpaper and red carpets. We got in the waiting room, with only two other people waiting. A man reading a Sports Illustrated magazine, and across the room from him was an old lady, asleep. The man looked up at us when we entered, and looked back down to his read. We sat away from them, facing a TV, softly playing a Red Lobster commercial. I looked to Adam, again, buried in his music. I looked over at Max. “What are we doing here?” I asked her. She looked at me, and tilted her head to the side, confused. “You expect me to know?” I looked at her, like, ‘well, duh’. “Well, I don’t know.” She said as she started to lean back over the back of the chair, stretching, pushing out her chest. I looked away, not trying to be a perv. I looked back at the TV. Now, it was playing news. In the broadcast, I saw pictures of our school. They were explaining controversy about it, with officials saying they wanted to stop school from happening. The debate has been going on for a while. There were all kinds of protestors standing in the parking lots and stuff. Some were holding signs, some holding pictures or crosses and candles, remembering ones they lost. I tried to look away, ignoring it, ignoring the fact no one told me anything about the fact our school was surrounded by protestors and signs since the tragedy took place. They didn’t tell me anything. They should’ve. I did what Max did, stretching back over the chair, looking up at the ceiling. I had the feeling of eyes on me, so I looked over to her, and when she came in to sight, I saw her eyes dart away. I tried my best to try and sleep, I guess I deserved it, somehow. A noise woke me up, a loud crash. I darted up, looking all around me. The hospital looked different. It was a lot dimmer, and the lights were flickering in the hallway we came from. Adam was asleep, music playing from his headphones. It was Christ Copyright by Nothing More. I heard the end of it playing, and then when it ended, it started over. It was on repeat. I looked over to Max. Her back to me, leaning on me, with her legs in the chair next to her. I got up, and she was still held up by the arm between our chairs. I tried waking them up, but they were deep in sleep. I looked around, knowing this was a bad idea. I found an emergency fire axe, and a flashlight on the receptionist’s desk. I took the flashlight, made sure it worked, and then I opened the glass door to get the axe. I started down the hallway, where we came from. The light that was flickering illuminated the walls and floors a little bit, but from what I saw, the red carpets were redder than before. Blood. This was officially a bad idea. I gripped the axe tighter. I slowly advanced, leaving the protection of the light. I instantly started the light, casting a beam of light down the hallway. It was a little weak, but it did a decent job. I saw that there was only four other doors in that hallway, and then the stairs, but I didn’t want to go too far from Adam and Max, just in case. I turned around to see if they were visible from where I was. As soon as I looked, I saw they were not in that room anymore. My heart dropped. Then the light busted off, making me jump backwards, heart racing. I tried opening the door closest to me. It was locked. I tried opening the next door. Locked. I opened the last door, pushing the door open. It was pitch black, except for the weak glow of my flashlight. It was a boiler room. Of course, it had to be the creepiest part of the building. Just as I was about to ‘nope nope nope’ all over the room, turn around and leave, the door shut. I’m not an idiot. I’m an armed idiot. I kept going forwards, because it would be typical for the door behind me to be locked as well. I keep going and I hear faint growling. My heart started beating quicker, almost drowning out the sound. Then the growling sounded a little clearer, even though it was rhythmically distorted. Anyone but me would be afraid of the noise, thinking it WAS really growling, but I knew what it really was. Remember Adam’s music, the intro to Christ Copyright? After I drew that conclusion, walking down the narrow passageway of pipes, the noise was clearer than day now. It was right behind me! Then I heard the tiniest whisper say ‘hey’ sharply. I spun around, and I saw Adam, Max, Jas, Dawn, and all kinds of other patients and staff hanging from the ceiling, their heads all tilted to the left, broken from the chains they were hanging by. They had no eyes, ripped out or something, and their bottom jaw was forcefully removed. I was more terrified than anything I’ve ever faced my entire life. With that, I woke up, throwing my arms in front of me, darting forward, and almost falling forwards out of my chair, screaming the whole time. As soon as I realize I’m back in the normal hospital, I calm down a little. Adam jumps back from me, shocked. I look to the other side, and see Max. She was lying against me, just like in the dream, but now she was almost to her feet in worry for me. I turned around and saw the man, with the magazine down at his knees now. Even the old lady was awakened. Then a nurse came into the room, standing in the very doorway I walked into hell in. She was the same nurse that came into my room yesterday morning, around this time. She was messing with her black ponytail, behind her head. I’m glad she didn’t notice I just got thrown out of a nightmare and crash-landed into reality. “Can you guys follow me?” she asked us, and without question, with almost franticness, we followed, again, still not sure where we were going now. We ended up going up the stairway, the way I should’ve probably went in the nightmare. We started going down an even longer hall after going up a flight of stairs. These were patient rooms. We went to a door marked 107. The nurse opened the door slowly, and as she entered, we were all behind her peeking our heads in to see what was in the room. I know that neither Adam nor I noticed the person lying on the bed, who Jas and Dawn were standing next to. But I know Max did. She was behind me and Adam, but she pushed us out of the way with tremendous force, knocking me into Adam, knocking him into the nurse, and he barley caught her with one hand, saving her from the wall, saving himself with the other hand against the wall she almost came in contact with. Max started crying, and she hugged the woman on the bed. When she did, she moved the blanket a little, revealing gauze wrapped around her chest and torso, similar to mine. I grabbed my chest, and then I realized. This was Max’s mother. I didn’t really remember the next 10 minutes after that. I do remember that I was outside, sitting on a bench in between Adam and Dawn. Adam was hunched over, his hands on his knees, fingers laced in his hands. He was staring at the floor, and I couldn’t put a label on his emotion right now. He was stuck in between confusion and hurt and pity and suffering and sadness. Dawn had her legs folded against her chest, with her jaw resting on her knees. She was holding her legs to her with her left arm as she was investigating her nails on the other hand. I had my back leaning on the wall behind me, head looking up. I was too clouded with thoughts that came and left like nothing. I felt as if I was melting into my own mind. Not a good sign. I don’t even remember much after that. It was as if the nightmare had mind-raped me. About five minutes after my last recollection, I remember we were congratulating Ricee, the girl at school that acted as a nurse to me. Now, she has become a nurse at the hospital. A little while after that, I remember we were leaving, filling into Jas’ car. After that, I remember nothing all up until I woke up the next morning, sunlight filling my room.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 00:00:05 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015