WHY CONSERVATIVES LOSE ELECTIONS After giving the matter considerable thought I have determined why conservatives - who are in the majority - lose elections. It really isnt that difficult to figure out. You see, some years ago the socialist Democrats decided to play by a different set of rules. Unfortunately the Republican Party, and conservatives in general, never figured that out until now. Republicans have been playing by the old rules like one person one vote, fair is fair and all those kinds of Christian, moral, ethical, Boy Scout arguments which truly makes us Americans. But just like during the Revolutionary War, we now have to adapt ourselves and improvise based on prevailing conditions. It have been said that the only way to take our country back is to walk like an Egyptian. That is not true. We can take our country back by simply beginning to vote like Democrats. So for example, recently we have found out that numerous Democrats voted in multiple states, voted numerous times and that many thousands of dead people are registered Democrats and have voted in recent elections. There are simple solutions to these problems. You see, if Republicans are going to vote like Democrats then when anyone registers Republican they need to receive mail-in ballots for all 50 states, territories, possessions, military and absentee ballots as part of the registration process, regardless of place of residence. If socialist Democrats dont take place of residence or citizenship status seriously, then why should Republicans? Packets of mail-in ballots should also be provided to all current Republican voters. On election days, Republicans will be bussed from precinct to precinct to precinct, from city to city, and from state to state to vote as many times as humanly possible for Republican candidates as long as the polls are open. From the socialist Democrats, Republican technicians have learned how to set voting machines so that they will only register votes for Republican candidates. Voting machines will also allow Republican voters to vote numerous times. National, state and local contests, awarding large sums of money and spectacular dream vacations will be awarded to Republican voters voting the most times in each election. Socialist Democrats may be registering thousands of dead people resulting in socialist Democrat votes, but the the largest data base of death records in the universe is in the possession of the Mormons, and Mormons are all conservative Republicans. And so Democrats may have thousands of dead people voting socialist Democrat, but the Mormons can register millions and millions of dead people from all over the world as Republican voters going back maybe even 1000 years! Further, criminals like Eric Holder and the Black Panthers intimidate voters in places like Philadelphia, but let us not forget that most of the guns in America are owned by conservatives, and conservatives are all part of the militia. And so, just wait until the next election day, when about a dozen Black Panther show up at each voting precinct in west Philadelphia they will soon discover that hundreds of Pennsylvania militia beat them to it and are already in formation, armed with AR15s shotguns, 1911 pistols and Confederate battle flags! Since most members of the Black Panther party have outstanding bench warrants for their arrest, each Black Panther will be IDd and the Philadelphia Police Department shall be called in for their arrest. Since socialist Democratic voters have demonstrated that is perfectly fine to have pictures of Democratic candidates on the walls of voting precincts, Republicans will reciprocate with large banners of Republican candidates that will be placed in front of all pictures of Democratic candidates. The mainstream media will be stripped from having any influence on candidate debates. In the future, all debates will be held at rod and gun clubs, fire stations, VFW halls, national guard armories and police stations. This is just beginning. But by using socialist Democrat voting methods, conservatives soon will be at winning all the luck the elections throughout our nation. SATIRE ;-)
Posted on: Sat, 26 Apr 2014 01:58:00 +0000
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