What is Friend? The Japanese have a term, kenzoku, which translated literally means family. The connotation suggests a bond between people whove made a similar commitment and who possibly therefore share a similar destiny. It implies the presence of the deepest connection of friendship, of lives lived as comrades from the distant past. Many of us have people in our lives with whom we feel the bond described by the word kenzoku. They may be family members, a mother, a brother, a daughter, a cousin. Or a friend from grammar school with whom we havent talked in decades. Time and distance do nothing to diminish the bond we have with these kinds of friends. The question then arises: why do we have the kind of chemistry encapsulated by the word kenzoku with only a few people we know and not scores of others? The closer we look for the answer the more elusive it becomes. It may not in fact be possible to know, but the characteristics that define a kenzoku relationship most certainly are WHAT DRAWS PEOPLE TOGETHER AS FRIENDS? 1.Common interests. This probably ties us closer to our friends than many would like to admit. When our interests diverge and we can find nothing to enjoy jointly, time spent together tends to rapidly diminish. Not that we cant still care deeply about friends with whom we no longer share common interests, but its probably uncommon for such friends to interact on a regular basis. 2.History. Nothing ties people together, even people with little in common, than having gone through the same difficult experience. As the sole glue to keep friendships whole in the long run, however, it often dries, cracks, and ultimately fails. 3.Common values. Though not necessarily enough to create a friendship, if values are too divergent, its difficult for a friendship to thrive. 4.Equality. If one friend needs the support of the other on a consistent basis such that the person depended upon receives no benefit other than the opportunity to support and encourage, while the relationship may be significant and valuable, it cant be said to define a true friendship Deen Muhammad Muhsin
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 01:29:06 +0000
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