When you live a certain Way of life for so long . You build A form of Wisdom you Never Knew existed ! It Only Shows Up once you Make that choice to Change . Im Trying to Help A Friend that . With out my Wisdom an experiences I would not Take ir seriously i would not Understand , i would not be able to Voice an opinion. At the Same time i Want to Agree with some of his thoughts an choices. I now think to myself a Phrase iv Heard O So Many times While i was in my Short cut,an Street Survival ways of Thinking. all you have ti do is change your thoughts an walk away But now already ben ther . The counter phrase can easily be said easier said than done An in my Heart Break While rest of my world was below ROCK BOTTOM! As the visual thoughts play out of inflicting Pain an Suffer un to Those that Gave up an turned ther backs, an as the One Who i thought the World of pulls Away with another Life already made Behind my back . It would for that moment Almost seem so un loading an satisfying To make them all Suffer Even taking a Risk to act on those Thoughts . An mind is tricking the reality of flat out Changing destroying One owns life to point of un able EVER TO REBUILD. simply for a decision for one moment of pleasure to see someone els Suffer . When your in that Zone All Your Negative Thoughts Trick your mind an Have it all make sense ! Iv watched a Friend loose it all , an than his love pull his only refuge Out from under him taking what ever Pride,self worth, dignity Out from under him . Iv Ben there . Iv had that rage . I jus got Home i had got home from a job . Jumped into my Truck an i trying to bring him back to reality an i can like him draw up all of the what ifs in the scenarios . An im worried about Him, i Do Know His Pain , cause of my Now Called Wisdom . Thru my heard times i was able to isolate myself. Yo protect myself. Thru my heard times iv grown with the ability to not Feel im missing out on what others are doing. Yea it enters my mind but if i have to force it . I have no care for it ! Iv found Happiness WITH NOTHING ST TOCK BOTTOM. SURE i want ti find someone sur i want someone by myside But i will never hsve my Heart destroyed The way it did. I can say my heart has ben rebuilt an like all structural mistakes Yes its rebuilt bigger an stronger cause of my wisdom. I jus cant get thru ti my friend . But i am trying.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 05:29:08 +0000
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