Wow, I wish I could have laughed at this a little more but this is absolutely a real thing. Its almost impossible (and more than a little exasperating) to describe what this experince is really like but a couple of years ago I went through one of these. Constantly creating totally imaginary dramas that always needing fixing, constantly being told that my neighbors, my friends, people I worked with had horrible opinions of me based on how they knew I treated her after nights where shed gotten blackout drunk, attacked me, and then open our bedroom windows to scream out of them at the top of her lungs that she was being abused. Forever cheating and claiming it was my fault for telling her it was OK to have lunch with her ex or some guy that she was friends with...who shed always end up in bed witb and if Id only trust her if Id only trust her if Id only trust her because well TOMORROW was going to be the day she was going to be the day she was going to stop all the stealing and the violence and everything else if I could just wait until this thing that was bothering her because tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. When I finally broke up with her shed already gone to as many of my friends as would listen to try to tell them all she had to suffer and even more oddly to try to somehow harvest them to become her friends, had already gone back to one of her exes so that the same day I made our breakup finally irreversible he was at my house with a truck and a trailer and even as he was loading her stuff into it she was pulling me aside swearing shed only started talking to him that morning and he just happened to available right then with a moving truck as she tugged at my fly whispering in my ear that I should just give her a few hours to trick him into moving her things for her that shed be back that night to make it all up to me because didnt I know she only did these things because it scared her that she loved me this much and that only Id ever understood her? I told her no there wouldnt be any coming back, and she slipped into his truck and dialed her phone and tried to ruin every good thing in my life. We all make jokes about our personal or relationship failings. Who hasnt had an ex you used the word crazy for? But sometimes its not a throw away line, sometimes its not even a little funny and you cant even tell anyone or you sound like the crazy one. All that one if these wants is for you to suffer because in those moments that they think theyve hurt you they find their only joy. In the heat from the bonfire they true to make of your life they find their only warmth. In your own impossible efforts to reach them as they drown themselves they know their only moments of contact or empowerment. Sometimes crazy is funny and sometimes there really are monsters.
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 17:29:55 +0000
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