Wow! youve got your hands full! I hear this every.single.time - TopicsExpress

Wow! youve got your hands full! I hear this every.single.time I go somewhere. I instantly reply, and my heart!! And my heart is full. My hands are full. But so is my head, and my brain might burst with all the thoughts and emotions and overwhelming not-done-again-today lists. And this is the kind of thing that reveals the Real Me-- an ugly, impatient, loud, talkative, impatient, fearful awkward little wuss who is afraid of spending money, pissing people off, being left to fend for myself, or completely ruining my kids. I cant live like this. Seeing the bottom of the bucket and its full of worms. But God. God gave Jesus and He covers all of that. And his Spirit gives me strength. And each day is new, despite my failures. Somehow my kids dont think Im mean. Somehow I will look back and remember mostly sweet stuff. I wont hate myself and I wont become bitter. Better of Bitter, the difference is I. So when I finally fall into bed I will choose to focus on the good. Those kids making me crazy? Im thankful theyre breathing. How quiet it would be without those lungs nearby. The laundry in piles of wrinkles clean? Im thankful to have warm. Warm clothes, my coat from highschool, warm air in a house that is not my own but is cozy nonetheless. Tension with my mother-in-law? Im thankful shes here. Im thankful for her companionship, her delicious meals, and her funny stories of roofless cars and candied canes. Im thankful for her generosity and letting us invade her space for weeks. Issues with husband, againnnn? Im thankful he isnt afraid of anything, that he will listen, and that he admits that his kids Are pretty cute but also very exhausting and its OK to want a few hours where my hands are free to play piano or stay still. Because even when I am crazy frustrated and tired... My heart is full. J

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