Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of dog food at CHECKERS. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had – an elephant? Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I had lost 18 kg before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to give it a try again. (I have to mention here that everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to scratch my fleas and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. Checkers won’t let me shop there anymore.
Posted on: Thu, 23 Oct 2014 11:25:01 +0000
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