You Know You’re a Knife Enthusiast If… …the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “tang” is not the orange drink. …you can pronounce ESEE, Tony Marfione, and Ka-Bar correctly. …pocket size is a determining factor when you pick out new jeans. …you don’t flinch when someone fires an automatic knife within two feet of you. …you know the words onion, shallot, leek, scallion, and chive have something in common, and it’s not just that they’re foods. …you’ll go to a dumb movie just because you heard there’s a knife in it. …knives are in your dreams far more often than your nightmares. …“hair-shaving sharp” has taken on a literal meaning in your life. …you can’t (or don’t want to) answer the question “how many knives do you own?” with exactness. …you can infer a lot about a person by what knife he or she is carrying. …you actually look at knife specifications. …you find yourself on one side or the other in the never-ending tip-up/ tip-down battle. …you die a little inside when someone thinks spending more than $40 on a knife is outlandish. …you’ve found that you know more types of steel than a welder. …the list of famous people you want to meet consists of knife makers, not actors. …you see that Todd Begg has a 3-year waiting list and say, “Hey, that’s not bad.” …you laugh when knife muggles ask you why you need more than one knife. …you know words Spell Check doesn’t know, like choil, jimping, ricasso, and spanto. Stupid Spell Check… …you’ve ever used the word “only” before stating the number of knives you own. (I only have 40 knives…) …when you accidentally cut yourself, you think, “I felt some drag on that… Time to break out the sharpener.” …owning a butterfly makes you more hardcore, not less. …it’s plausible to you that Chris Reeve is Superman in real life, not just in the movie. …there’s no end to your knife collection in sight because you understand that knives are like snowflakes; each one is unique. …you don’t get what’s so confusing about throwing around OTF, EDC, or ZT in everyday conversation.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 12:51:06 +0000
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