You and the Rocks Are Exactly the Same Since I first arrived in Sedona almost 4 years ago, I kept hearing a very strange thing, coming from inside but it felt like it had no location. It said, The rocks and you are exactly the same thing. There is not the slightest molecule of difference between you and the rocks. I didnt understand this. Yet it worked on me like a Zen Koan. Something happened each time I heard this, subtle and not so subtle changes. The second time I heard it I was sitting on a ledge up on Cathedral Rock. It was getting dark and I was suddenly struck by a great fear of heights. I didnt think I would get down alive. Its not the first time I have felt this panic. I climbed a lot throughout my life and I often faced this. I prayed for help and in answer I heard this again. You and the rocks are exactly the same thing. There is not the slightest difference between you. Again, I didnt understand it. But all my fear of heights left me and three years later it has never returned. Most of the time when I am in the rocks I hear this same inner voice. And also sometimes when Im not. I never really understand it. How could this be? These rocks and me exactly the same? This body has skin. Its softer than the rock surface. I have a beating heart. I breath oxygen through lungs. The rocks dont do this. For three years this has gone on. I feel incredibly intimate with these rocks. As if they are very close relatives, mother, father, grandfather. I feel as if they are watching out for me, protecting me, embracing me when I sit in a cave. But still I have never understood that these rocks and me are exactly the same. Tonight, driving toward the post office on the way to Up Town, looking at the rocks off in the distance I finally understood. Not in a mental or intellectual way. But a direct experience. The space between what I thought of as me and the rocks suddenly vanished. There was no space. There was no distance. The rocks were not located anywhere in space and neither was I. I could no longer say the rocks are over there and I am here. Neither of us had any locations. I could not say that the rocks were outside of me or inside of me. I could not say that I was inside of this body or outside of it. All of that vanished and the rocks were no different from me. It was completely impossible to say where one started and the other ended. There were absolutely no borders, no space and no time. I finally understood completely what this inner voice had been telling me for the past three years. It was completely true and completely obvious. Everything that I thought about me disappeared. There was nothing I could say about it. Everything I had thought about the rocks disappeared. There was nothing I could say about them. Nothing at all. And yet there was absolutely no difference between us, or anything else for that matter. There is nothing I can call this experience. Oneness. Nonduality. No word really can describe this. Maybe the end of concepts comes closest. That is also a description of Nirvana - the extinction of all concepts. Somehow driving happened without an accident. It didnt seem to be a problem. Although the concept of space, the belief in space, was gone, the functioning as if there were space continued. Right now I am so grateful for this inner guidance. And not embarrassed at all that it took so long to really get it. The mind is terribly conditioned to believe things that are not Truth. That cant be helped. This conditioning falls away exactly as it should in just the right time. Nothing is not happening perfectly. What is this voice, who knows? Inner and outer are also just concepts, like space and time, like self and other. Somehow there is this great wisdom that seems available. Certainly it is not the wisdom of Peter. It is far too perfect for that. To think I know what it is is just another concept. And it really doesnt need one. Its doing just fine without it.
Posted on: Thu, 01 May 2014 04:36:44 +0000
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