kinda lost, confused, angry, brainwashed, worried, not sure, scrambled thoughts, happiness lost, cheated, body is fully jacked, tired of my life day in and day out of trying to heal, surgeon appointment Tuesday is screwing my brian to a place full of hate, want to be fixed and have zero idea how long this attempt this time around will last, staring at skate, snow, n surf videos day in and day out, i honestly cannot imagine a life without any of my passion filled heavenly gifts robbed and gone forever, i only find peace and happiness when im riding and think of nothing but terrain, concrete, rails, parks, the effort it takes and the journeys i consume just to ride, new cities, culture shocks, our unspoken universal languages of riding, the people confident enough to go on these oddly kinda insane to some but normal for us trips to search for new spots, backwoods, crazy hella miles high mountain peaks, waves that can drowned the weak or inexperienced, the weird ass roadside trinkets that i have seemed to have made some weird habbit collecting, bouncing back is no sure thing but i will never quit riding no matter what specialist, surgeons, or anyone for that matter says, thinks, knows, or whatever? I will continue to charge forward and ride anything i can or cant until this freaking heart of mine totally stops beating PERIOD. EXCLAMATION POINT! Fully... Its like trying to teach a dog to not ever bark at all costs. Shits just not gonna happen. I freaking am such an optimus on the reggs but im not seeing any type of light at the end of this tunnel! Thinking of my life without riding i cannot wrap my freaking stupid head around and am fighting so damn hard and refusing to except what seems to be inevitable! Is this really all that life has for me? WTF? I am tripping out the worst i ever have in this short time that ive been on earth but im refusing to quit! If this is all that being human has to offer for me then i could really give a crap less about breathing or not! I dont get it? Never asked for any of it but what i created by personal self inflicted injures due to not committing to my skills, stances, weight distribution, poise, finesse, abilities, heart, dedication, power, self confidence, as well as the full understanding of physics! My life would be fully crappy and incomplete not having the capability to come back from this damn injury... If you know me at all? Then you already know that me without a board in my life would be the equivalent to having a human body in peak physical condition and missing the biggest and strongest muscle in the human anatomy! No human has ever taken one damn breath without having a HEART inside of their body that worked and i do not see a use for either of those things... A board in my life and riding to live while i continue to live to ride. Doesnt make sense to me? Ever heard of any human having any type or sort of ability to live, breathe, or function without a damn heart? SHIT ME EITHER! GO FIGURE. FTW
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 11:51:31 +0000
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