okay, two cool wizardy things in the last 24 hours: 1st, last night, after seeing Wild, and feeling properly wilded into my own life, I went out to dinner with my ladies and we were waiting in line at a very crowded restaurant, so we decided to play cards, while standing, and chose Gin, a game you really need to tune in or lose horribly. The first round, i was distracted, by hair and the smells of cologne, by my hunger, and my daughter won and won big. And then everyone kind of joshed me for losing because Id implied I was good at the game. The teasing activated a higher thing in me, and someone had already begun dealing the next hand and everyone began making grandiose claims of who would win first. But I REALIZED that I was already inside of the win. I got quiet on all fronts and just found the tone of win. I told the group that I would win quickly and none of them stood a chance. I didnt feel showy, but factual. The next card in my hand was a jack of hearts, then a queen of hearts, then a king, and so on, just like dropping coins in a slot. The only card that didnt match was one the one that I was dealt before I tuned on the mojo. Then I said and knew in my mind, the card this person puts down will be the exact one I need. It was ... the EXACT ONE I needed. I won in a single turn, because Id let go of all other possibilities and just settled into that single, perfect, delicious tone. The sweetness of that stayed with me through out the night. I realized how often I am emitting a crazy split tone and how exactly the stuff coming in matches that. It made me so excited to go deeper into the ninja focus mojo stuff. I have a long history of powerful wizardry and its nice to freaking remember that at a bigger level and snuggle more joyfully into it. No need. Just joy. But THEN! This morning in a hubbub of passport getting for my gadzillion kids, one of them slammed a car door on my fingers and I nearly fainted from pain, immediate swell, cant move bla bla. I start crying lots and am totally thrown off, disoriented. Really freaking UNUSEFUL questions swirling through, like, how did I draw this in? I got a moment of privacy and let the cry and sad pain wave crash on the shore of my now. I didnt have a choice. It was a comin no matter what. I just got out of the way of it. Then, I knew that I had to drive, even tho my hand was PULPY, I knew I needed to drive. Didnt know why, just heard it. So, I did. As I started driving, I was nearly overwhelmed with pain and started doing EFT and stuff on it but it only got worse. I flipped thru my Abe library past all the wellness healing stuff and landed on one that was Abes advice about the 3 things you should do to be successful. TOTALLY didnt fit for this now, but was bright so I went with it. their advice was basically to get as grateful as you could and look for stuff going right. While, it seemed pretty far fetched from my pain stance, I thot, what the heck and asked Becca if shed play gratitude games. As I asked, my hand was so painful I was gritting my teeth talking. But a funny thing started to happen as I launched into her prompt top ten for what you love about Walt Disney I stopped thinking about my hand completely for a moment, and started thinking about someone who focused on joy and started a whole slew of new joy momentums in the world. And then I started following some of those threads, the song to The Aristocrats, everybody wants to be a cat and my hearts swoon as a young child seeing Beauty and the Beast for the first time. We went back and forth for a while, going deeper into what we love about what we love. Deep, life changing, cell changing gratitude. When I looked down, the swelling on my hand seemed to have gone down my half. I blinked. I had kind of worried that my hand was just going to puff into unuseable sausage casings, and I wouldnt be able to finish typing the last page of the book today, but the momentum was already abating. Tentatively, I realized I could kind of sort of bend them. I kept going. The sun, the zippy little car, so eager, so ready, my joyous and loving companions, so positive and funny and powerful! My childrens quiet, steady revery for our beautiful life. The line from the movie last night, where the mother advised her to put herself in the way of beauty and she did and it saved her. And I realized that in my glad hearting instead of probleming, I had also put myself in the way of beauty. And it had saved me too. I just wanted to share and maybe put a bit of beauty in the way of you A thousand orchards of pear trees in bloom for you beautiful players! love, Natalie
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 18:33:22 +0000
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