10 Questions to Ask Today...and every week of the year I had a conversation with someone yesterday that is now finally quitting smoking (pre-new years, love that) and is finally following through after many attempts because this is the first time she can see that theres a disconnect between this behavior and how she sees herself. It doesnt make sense with her own self-identity anymore. Statistically speaking, 45% of people make resolutions every new years and they typically last for about a week to 30 days. The majority of people pick a thing they know they should or should want to do or eliminate without much introspection, without a plan, and without enough emotional attachment. Ironically, its usually a very taxing task, a tremendously ingrained habit that would require more self-awareness and drive than I should do this. And its usually quite vague; top resolutions being lose weight, get organized, get fit, live more fully. A lot of folks out there making resolutions are just allowing their lives to happen to them, without much reflection or intention. Allowing life to just come at me would take me out of the drivers seat. Theres a lot of beauty in that because I dont always need white knuckles control on the steering wheel here and its important to me that I let go of control at times, but theres also a lot of danger in that because Im giving up my ability to choose my circumstances, or really, my PERCEPTION of my circumstances. So if you were to examine your average day from the outside looking in, observing yourself getting up, how you travel to work, how you greet people, how you talk to yourself, and so on....are you inspired by what you see? For me, the answer is, sometimes. Nothing will improve without my self-awareness though, so I make it a point to do this periodically. Whats still challenging for me is making myself aware without judgment.....or should I say, without harsh self-judgment that comes REALLY easy....but Im not talkin about being all self-lovey I am perfect and wonderful the way I am instead...a little tough self-love is necessary here. And then, knowing where I stand and how I can improve, I make these subtle shifts and small changes daily, accepting the ups and downs to lasting change, anticipating failure as an integral part of success. Thats not a resolution. Its deliberate living. Its self-ownership. Its what we at INJA stand for. So here are the questions in my mind today. I challenge you to honestly answer these. And accept whether or not youre emotionally and mentally ready to adjust anything about your life. Because if you believe you should, but arent actually all in, the half-ass approach will only bring on that feeling of failure and why bother and that whole negative thinking loop that glues you even more to the things you think you should change. One thing at a time. One day you may be ready. But first, see it, accept it, own it. Life isnt just happening to you. Whether you believe it or not, youre making it happen. 1 - What are my first thoughts when I wake up in the morning? Meaning - what or who am I immediately giving my power and my day to? 2 - What should (according to myself, not the opinions of others) I keep doing? How can I enforce these habits that are adding value to my daily routine? 3 - What would the ideal version of myself be doing less? Examples - watching t.v., surfing the internet, comparing myself to a specific person on instagram, etc....Realistically, you might not stop these habits, but you can accept that they are trivial and you can do them less often if you replace them with something that feels better. 4 - What feels better? What do I want to do more of that I know will be meaningful to me? If the answer is nothing, nothing feels better than scrolling my facebook newsfeed for 2 hours a day, thats okay! Just own it. 5 - Would you want to be with you? - be your friend, work for you, be parented or partnered by you? 6 - What are you genuinely worried about? Is it warranted? Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? 7 - Would you rather lead or follow? Do your actions in this regard line up with your opinion of yourself? 8 - When you look at the aspects of your life that you wish you could change - do you take ownership or do you blame others for them? 9 - What do you need to let go of, but havent yet? Why? 10 - Would you say you are existing, surviving, or living? Have an eye-opening day yall! -Coach V
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 15:23:57 +0000
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