20 things I would like to share as a Canadian living in the United States for 11 years. 1. If you say Zed for Z people will laugh at you. 2. Your kids are not in grade 3 they are in 3rd grade. I will immediately identify you as one of those Canucks if you say the former. 3. Americans will constantly make jokes about hockey, cold weather and beer. 4. Tim Horton is not the Prime Minister, but he is very, very important to Canadians. (he sells crack, coffee crack) 5. Bacon is not a food group, although it should be. 6. Here they order a Molson beer when they mean Canadian, because if you ordered a Molson in Canada the bartender or server would exasperatedly say Which one??? (off the top of my head there is Golden, Export, and Dry, to name a few) 7. Americans assume we do not pay for health care at all. Its all free they think. Not true, health care does not pay for extras, prescription, dental, blah blah blah and if you have ever waited in an emergency room when you have free health care- pack a lunch and dinner and possibly three days worth of food. In the U.S. health care is a service but you get what you pay for. 8. Americans think Canadians are horrible tippers. I worked both sides of the border and definitely get it now, so friends back home tipping 10% here is never okay, and the servers/bar staff will take it out on me personally if you tip less than 20%. Dawn, your people are terrible tippers. Spare me the abuse. 9. Americans think we are responsible for Justin Bieber. They will forget we also gave them Michael J. Fox, Michael Myers, Wayne Gretzky, Jim Carey, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling ( youre welcome) and Celine Dion (sorry) to name a small group of famous Canucks. 10. Americans are not as funny as Canadians. 11. Americans will make fun of the way we say things, but those of us who want to fit in will soon learn to say soda, napkins and restroom as opposed to pop, serviettes and washroom. (I learned by 2004) 12. Americans love hockey as much as Canadians do, they just dont have as many amazing players . I cant back this up statistically but just trust me on this one. 13. Hockey in Canada is a career choice. Like reality TV star here. Kids will grow up thinking they can realistically be either. 14. Americans think we live in Igloos and went to school on snow plows. 15. Americans think we do not have a military. We do. Theres these three guys.... 16. Rob Ford....hes an outstanding hockey player if youve never heard of him. 17. Canadians are faster and better drivers. We drive on Expressways, not freeways. I still after 11 years cannot tell you how to convert miles to KM, but I just KNOW instinctively when I cross the border to go at least 10 miles over the speed limit and I will be fine. 18. Snacks here SUCK. Its why I am so skinny. Please send me some All Dressed Chips, some Bits & Bites and Kernels Popcorn ASAP!! 19. Americans love their weed. Okay, so do Canadians. We are even on this one. 20. I LOVE living south of the border. I might even sort of fit in here now. Once I got through my Tim Hortons detox (took about three years) I felt right at home. Thank you Dunkins.
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 12:36:38 +0000