30 things useless you dont know 1) If you die, you will respawn. In real life, that will not happen. Notch should seriously put up a disclaimer. Really. 2) Zombie pigmen are not to be messed around with. They will slaughter you. Then, when you respawn, they will slaughter you again. Have fun. 3) When people say STFU in minecraft multiplayer, it does not mean; Some Times Flying Up So you can now stop saying Noob, no one flies up! And it definitely does not mean what you are thinking, perv. 4) Pigs will drop pork after you repeatedly punch them in the face. This does not happen in real life; usually the pig in question will try to kill you. DO NOT PUNCH PIGS IN REAL LIFE! I can not stress this enough. If you do somehow manage to kill a pig with your bare fists in real life, it will not drop pork. No! Instead, it will sit there (not disappearing) and rot. Get your lazy butt up and skin it or something if you want pork. 5) Herobrine is not real. He is fake. This means that that white-eyed guy with the weird looking skin is, in fact, probably some sort of murderer. You should really stop letting him in your house. Even if that first time it was unintentional. 6) Never try to make a TNT house by a lake of lava. Especially if you live in it, and youve spontaneously decided to put all your things in it. 7) Ghasts love lava. That means that your expertly rigged trap of lava made especially for ghasts, will not work. It might work on pigs, though. 8) Never dress up as a creeper in survival multiplayer and creep up behind your friend. Especially when you have all your diamonds in there. He will steal them after killing you. 9) There is no Steve. The default skin you are wearing is actually a failed attempt at making a Herobrine mob. Now that you know your heritage, lets pick some flowers! 10) Roses are red, violets are-what the hell are violets? Violets do not exist in minecraft. Trying to create some will result in your permanent ban. And the world will implode on itself. (Thats how black holes are made, people trying to make violets.) 11) In Minecraft, punching trees without an injury is possible. Dont blame Mojang if you go to the hospital for trying to punch trees. 12)In Minecraft, zombies are easy to kill, and drop food when killed. Just try not to go to the hospital after trying to eat that tough looking beef jerky that you found on the floor. Youll just spread the infection. And those neighbors might file that lawsuit against you, for being so addicted. To a game. 13)The Nether, in Minecraft, is a real place. But dont blame Notch if you try to build an expensive obsidian portal in your backyard. Oh, and try not to wake your neighbors up. They are trying to get some sleep, because you have finally stopped playing C418s album at the highest volume. 14) Gold in Minecraft is worthless. Not so much in real life. Dont blame Mojang if you lose thousands of dollars cause you threw your worthless gold away. 15)In Minecraft, you can get hit by an arrow to the head, but your leather shoes will protect you from getting hurt. Just dont expect to be shielded from gunshots when you are wearing kevlar boots. 16) There are no creepers in real life. Seriously. When youre at the library and you hear someone say Sshhhhhbehind you dont punch them to death. 17) In minecraft, although it takes forever, you can break stone by punching it. Just dont do it in real life, the hostpital bill for broken bones is something like (infinity) plus (infinity). 18) In Minecraft, you seem to be able to survive drops up to 22 meters. Might break a leg in real life, and see above for what happens after that. 19) Fishing has never been easier with Minecraft! Just sling your fishing rod (Made in your home, probably in Taiwan, with string from giant spiders and two three small sticks) across any body of water - be it muddy water, sea water, water that just wont go down the toilet, or even water with no life what so ever within it. About half a minute later, there will be a slight tug-oh wait... unrealistic physics, I meant: no tug, and you will have caught a fish. Even if there are no fish in the water. Just dont file a lawsuit when you die of hunger because you were fishing from the dead sea while playing survivor man. 20) You can exit from Minecraft any time youd like. Not so in real life, just dont be surprised when you cant seem to exit from the game when you are about to be caught by the police for animal abuse (see # 5). 20) Continuing what was said above, you cannot pause the world of reality by yelling ESC! ESC!!!! EESSSCCC!!! ESSCC!!!!!!!! Oh, and dont act all surprised when you cant seem to be able to change the difficulty to peaceful. Serves you right for taunting a raging bull. 21) If you have a server in Minecraft that has Bucket (or whatever its called), you can ban that raging noob who is blowing everything up. In real life you cant just say /ban [insert noobs name here]. In fact, I think saying / is physically impossible, the closest you could ever come is the English equivalent of the word, slash. 22) Another thing about Bucket: you can use it to spawn items in Minecraft. Just dont think you can go around spending all your money and replenish the supply by saying /give [Your name] 64 266 23) Also, in Minecraft, you dont need social skills to survive. No one else lives in your world, unless you are in multiplayer. Not so in real life. Thats why all your girlfriends left you and is also the reason why you got fired. For playing Minecraft all the time. 24) In Minecraft, you make armor with iron ingots, gold ingots, diamond and leather. All you need to do is arrange them in a pattern that slightly resembles the piece you want to make. In real life, it takes forever just to make leather armor. I dont see how you could make diamond armor-not that youd want to, as it isnt much stronger than iron armor. Iron armor is usually divided into two groups: chain mail and plate armor. Another thing: the armor wont just appear when you arrange the pieces around like that. Not like that either. No, it doesnt seem to work in that pattern... Try again. 25) In Minecraft, you can install mods. In real life, you cant. Stop trying to insert that CD into lifes CD tray - even if it only has a small mod burned onto it. Uploading it to lifes computer banks wont work either. Mainly because life isnt a computer. 26) This is a side effect of food-poisoning. Usually youd throw up, but this side effect is that there is a random sentence or two in the middle of this thing. 27) Ever had food poisoning? Usually you get sick for about half a day, then throw up. Noooo... not in Minecraft. (We should know by now that Minecraft is... special.) In Minecraft, instead of getting sick from rotting food, you have a 1/2 chance or so of getting sick. Im pretty sure that in real life you are REALLY going to get sick if you eat that zombie flesh (especially if its raw). That and the fact that it seems that the poison lasts for about fifteen seconds. 28) In real life, random music tracks do not start playing randomly. In Minecraft, youll be mining that diamond you just found when all of the sudden, Wet Hands starts playing. You close your eyes for a second and finish mining. The creeper that was behind the diamond block explodes and sends you hurtling into the lava. Even Itunes music selection doesnt cost that much. 29) What is this about food again? In Minecraft, you usually just nibble on food and it doesnt disappear bite by bite. Its just there, then... POOF! Gone! Another thing: the food passes straight through you, no digestive track or anything. In one end, ending the code for a script the other! 30) In real life, milk actually causes most poisons to become worse. In Minecraft, it cures you of poison. Dont be blaming Mojang when you are carrying half curdled milk around, expecting it to save you from that brown recluses poison. Although youll be dead of curdled milk and poison. The story of a Minecrafters life.
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 08:23:21 +0000
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