A Meander …. Nobody except Jeanne Deininger realizes just how much I am a true meld, morally, philosophically, behaviorally, in all ways and all things of my parents … Avis Bond and Jack Bond …. Including the many ways in which they were different. Which makes me often internally inconsistent. My sloth and my energy, my audacity and my thoughtfulness, my generosity and my narcissism and so, so, so, so, so much more come from them in greater or lesser degree, sometimes to a ridiculous extreme. Oh, and the book thing. And the school thing. (All the Five Bond Kids teach. And enable everybody we can to get in school, stay in school, be in school). Jack and Avis were each of them cultural outliers; they came from incredibly different places …. Bigger than life among a generation that was bigger than life, giants among giants… I am but a pale shadow, and lucky to be that …… Jack grew up alone, around no family, with no security. And no opportunity. Avis grew up safe, secure, loving parents, siblings, surrounded by the best that merchant class America could offer a somewhat discriminated against Catholic ….. They were so different. And each brought out the very best in the other ………. Hang on there’s a point to this …. Although it’s not the point I started with …. Joe Clifford --- you are the genesis of this meander --- Today, Joe like the rest of us is another day older and deeper in debt. He sent me this video on his birthday. Today. Another day older and deeper in debt. https://youtube/watch?v=ytS4yFM4Oxw …And it brought to mind maxims of life from Jack and Avis. The most important thing in my dad’s life was that people notice him, like him, respect him. Incredibly manic, a genius, the definition of over the top. And a more generous soul never lived. Except maybe Avis. Their children, all five of us, tend to generosity squared; it’s in our bones and in everything we saw every day of our youths …..You can’t help everybody, but you can help everybody you can help …. Anything worth having is worth sharing, and there’s always somebody who needs it whatever it may be more than you do, and it never hurts to give, not ever, and it always makes you feel good about yourself. Everybody who ever met Jack was drawn to him. You couldn’t help but know that he was special. But for Avis, though, Jack would have flown like Icarus too close to the sun, burned and crashed. She was rudder to his ship. Each without the other was mere potential …. And Avis, well, she is a magnificent story. Quiet, unassuming, great beyond grandeur ….. Jack and Avis knew, and their children know. People matter. Every single one. And most especially friends matter. They are the greatest wealth. The lives of Jack and Avis were (and Avis’s still is) full of people who loved them by choice not obligation. Avis taught her children an important lesson: You can’t make new old friends. And that if you never make new friends, you will never have old friends. As I near 60 (this January) one would think that making new friends is behind me. But I am the scion of Jack and Avis. And one of the great joys in my life is when I run into somebody who I suspect, feel in my guts will be a “future old friend.” Rodney Bain is one of these. And Joe C., you too, I think. Avis and I plan to go skydiving together over MLK weekend 2015 in January for my 60th. Big party the night before. We hope our friends, old and new, and especially our future old friends might join us. That includes Joe and Rodney. It will be worth the trip, just to meet Avis for those who haven’t. And to be there when she jumps! …. She is a better man than I, Gunga Din ….. The event is in Clewiston, FL, about 75 miles from Ft. Lauderdale --- details, housing, the party, etc. to follow. Message or email me if you want on the list … Come join us. Hell if you want to, come jump with us. Pencil it in. (Does that count as writing time today?) (The first draft of everything sucks. Tough shit. One draft’s all this one gets --- associative meander, clouding…yee- ha!) Johnny Bundschuh Kristine Bundschuh Kaitlyn Fowler Jay Fowler Paul Castronovo Thomas Mangano Phil Adikes Sr. Thomas Swick Les Standiford Barbara Bond James Alexander Bond Abby Ellin Rosi Lovdal... more to follow
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 19:16:14 +0000
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