A PLEA It’s hard to know where to begin. As a writer, some things should come easy for me. There are always words, phrases, quips and anecdotes floating around in my head like origami birds on a mobile, turning this way and that, forever moving, forever creating new and intricate designs in the air. I think of the words “frustration” and “helplessness.” Yes, I’m trying to tell you something but I’m afraid some of you won’t understand. Sometimes I don’t understand it myself… and I’m smack dab in the middle of it. I think it’s a plea… just not for me. It’s sort of like standing just outside a burning house, a house filled with people trapped inside. The doors and windows are all locked and they are frantic to escape. They see me through the windows; they know I don’t have the key so I find a rock and break through a window yet the backdraft sucks the flames to it preventing the people from escaping. I scream at them and tell them to simply run and dive through the window; there may be a temporary pain, there may be cuts and small burns but they’ll be free and I’ll take care of them when they are. But they’re afraid and so… Everyone on this earth suffers. We ALL suffer from time to time, some, more-so than others. The equity of life is never just. I HAVEN’T suffered. I’ve had a good life. I’ve never really been in danger, at least not so much that a Zoloft, a margarita, a prayer or a smile from someone couldn’t help. Financially, I’ve made some very bad decisions and though the recent ones have been more planned and thought-out, the former ones have already set the stage for the remainder of my existence, barring a lottery ticket or book publishing. But I don’t have cancer. I have both arms and both legs, a brain that still functions fairly well and am blessed with more courage, tenacity and talent than anyone deserves. That’s why I’m not complaining. That’s not what this is. But for all my intelligence, all my spunk, my ability to always say the right thing, to make some of you laugh, I am lacking something tonight, an ability to help someone, someone who desperately needs more than my smiles can give. I have friends, here on Facebook and in other places who are suffering so greatly, physical illnesses that have ravaged their bodies, taken a toll, and left many wondering, contemplating their very existence, contemplating their faith, their will, their desires. I applaud all of you your courage; and you know who you are. I pray daily for God’s will and for miracles because I believe they still exist and I will continue to believe it long after I have departed this earth. My heart is so heavy for the world, for non-believers, for believers who’ve lost their way, who are controlled by forces so much more powerful than their own individual faiths. That control which manifests itself in something called addiction is more powerful than war, than hatred, than money… but I will NOT believe it’s more powerful than love. I cling to that. I’m being totally honest with you tonight. I’ve often wondered what my role in life is. Why am I here? I’ve asked God on many occasions why the dreams I had for my life, never happened. Did I not work hard enough? Did I not have enough talent? Take enough chances? And I’ve come to realize that those questions are ridiculous. To coin a Hillary term… (and you know how hard that is for me…) …in the whole scope of things, what does it matter? I’ve begun to think (and trust) that my main purpose here is to love… to love as strongly and as completely as I know how and to pray for all the things which I cannot change. I know this will offend some of my Facebook friends and frankly, I’m finished with worrying about who I am offending when it comes to my relationship with the Lord. After all, what does it matter when I stand there before Him and He says whatever it is He’s going to say to me? I trust and believe in the power of prayer. I entitled this peace “A Plea…” But as I type these words I realize that’s not really what this is. It’s not even some kind of testimony. And it’s certainly not something deserving of praise… only One is worthy of that. It’s a sudden realization of MY purpose. It won’t make everything right because His will is not our will. Beverly Carter now understands His will, a will that is hard, that is painful… …yet still… …His will. So tonight I leave you with a most humble prayer that a miracle will occur in your life AND in the life of someone you know who needs it. We all have our own special person who needs a miracle. Will you pray for it tonight?
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 01:22:36 +0000
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