A mother’s resilience: Raising a son without arms Daily Monitor Oliver Naluyima stood under a tree, pondering her next move. That afternoon, she had missed what she believed was an opportunity to make a much needed breakthrough in her son Brian Ssekanwagi’s life. She had arrived a little too late to meet her member of Parliament whom she believed was in the best position to enable her get help for her son, especially financially. The three-year-old, oblivious of his mother’s worries, looked comfortable in her arms; not even the crowd that was gathering to stare at him seemed to bother the little boy. Later, I discovered that this kind of attention has become part of his life. I was in Manyogaseka Subcounty, in Mubende District covering a story. Like the rest of the crowd, I was drawn to the pair. Naluyima whom I discovered had travelled from her village Kabosi in Bukuya subcounty, had hoped to ask the politician to give her some money so she could find a school for her son and generally improve his welfare. Quite a sociable person, when I inquire more about her circumstances, she reveals that her son was born without arms. She urges me to visit her some other time as she had to travel back to her village before it was dark. A tourist attraction The next day, I set off for her home in Bukunya. Finding Naluyima’s home is no hard task, as everyone in the village knows her as “the woman who has a child without arms”. The bodaboda rider who gives me a lift reveals that they often take many people to her place because “the baby is like a tourist attraction in the area.” However, he lets me know that Naluyima is a hard worker who earns a living by digging in other people’s gardens and barely gets handouts from those who go to see her son. When I reach her home, she is cooking supper. Her son is busy playing with his toys. She ushers me into her small mud grass thatched house which she says was given to her by a Good Samaritan she only refers to as Nabukera. “Nabukera used to live in this house, but before she left the village, she gave it to me and this small plot of land after learning that I had no where to stay,” Naluyima says. However, for the interview we sit under an Avocado tree in her compound. Ssekangwagi she tells me, can eat, drink and even write with his legs, a thing that amuses the villages. As she reveals this, the pride in her voice is unmistakable. “ Giving birth to a baby without hands has made me popular in this village, but the problem is that some people who come to see the boy do not give me any assistance,” she says. Catering for her son’s needs is her biggest challenge, although she is optimistic that one day, some people will come to her aid. “I don’t have the money to take my son to school because his father abandoned me after he learnt that I had given birth to a disabled child,” she recounts. Her three daughters were taken by their father when the couple separated and are currently living in another subcounty in the district, Kasanda. Because she is all he has got now, Naluyima always goes about her garden work with Ssekanwagi’s. She sometimes collects fire wood and sells it in the nearby town of Bukuya so that she can get money. Ssekanwagi was born on July 19, 2010 at Mityana Hospital having been referred from Kasanda Health Center III. Naluyima did not experience any complications during birth although the pregnancy span over the normal nine months. “When the nurses called my husband, informing him about the baby I had produced without arms, he ordered me not to come back home,” she says sorrowfully. At that time, the family was living in Kyaluwolera village in Kitumbi Sub County, but Naluyima could not return home for fear of being killed by her husband. “I decided to stay in Bukuya Subcounty in Kabosi village until a lady called Nabukera assisted me withshelter. My husband has never given me any money or even visited us to see his son, he doesn’t want even to hear about the child,” she says. Her woes did not end with her husband’s rejection; she has since faced stigma from the neighbours in the village. “Ever since I came to this village, the neighbours have never given me any assistance, they only to come to see the boy and move away,” she says. A talented little boy She says her son likes matooke and posho, but his greatest love is milk. “Without milk, Ssekanwagi does not take tea at home,” she lovingly says. The little boy suffers the occasional malaria, cough or headache, otherwise he is a healthy child. Doctors usually advise her to feed her son well, so that he can grow, although she has never taken him to consult a specialist about his condition. “My son walks well and plays, but he plays alone because there are no other children to play with him. He drinks tea in the cup using his toes because he does not have hands,” she says. Having no company but his mother, has made him unsociable. When I try to play with him, he starts crying. His mother explains that he is not used to interacting with people he does not know unless they have a treat for him. I gave him my pen to win his affection and he allows me to come closer, but only for a short time, then he goes back to the mother. Naluyima’s only worry is that Ssekanwagi could fall in the pit latrine, so she often accompanies him to answer natures call and cleans or bathes him daily. He at times helps his mother with household chores. I saw him carry a saucepan using his jaws and cutting vegetables with his legs. Naluyima however says all this is self-taught. “Whenever I’m doing my chores, he comes and also starts participating without any assistance. I did not know that my child will ever sit and walk because he was weak and even I did not think that he would grow because of the way he was,” says the mother. An unclear future Her biggest worry is her son’s future and education. “I don’t know whether I will get a school for my child, I don’t know where to take him to, even in Mubende there is no school I know of for such children and I want assistance so that he can go to school,” she says. Naluyima adds that she has never been assisted by the local leaders of Bukuya Subcounty and at the district level. When contacted, the district secretary for community services, Zariikah Katusabe said they have never received a report concerning the boy and requested the mother to go to her office for assistance. “If we get a report on this boy, I will take it to council and see if they can get any assistance to help the mother. We can find a school for the disabled children and take the boy if the mother allows and even give him support,” she says. In the meantime, Naluyima can only hope that she will be able to get another opportunity to make the journey out of her village.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Jul 2013 09:25:29 +0000
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