"A roomful of Peters, mostly." FROM THE SKY STEPPED DOWN TWO SETS OF RATHER HEAVENLY TOES IN WHAT LOOKED LIKE REALLY LARGE AND EXQUISITE SANDALS BUT THEN EVERYTHING ELSE GOT SMALL AND QUIET AND THE CLOUDS CLOSED UP WHERE THEY HAD OPENED. Not long after, Peter, your narrator, was at some pearly gates and was waiting in a crowd and this old guy also named Peter (sort of) was calling for attention in front of this white podium, clearing his throat in a hiss-cough that was really pretty loud, and he said “Hi, hi, welcome. I’m Peter, and I have some news that might not be super easy to hear. “You see, I can’t really let you in. The whole thing is, is that this is God’s kingdom and, well, God isn’t here right now.” Murmurings amidst the other characters in the vicinity resulted in another little hiss-cough throating from Peter (or Simon, whatever) that then made the guests in His house expect some further explanation. Peter, your narrator, spoke up a little and asked “Uh, so, is he coming back, like....soon?” and Peter (or Simon, whatever) closed his eyes quickly and responded “I really have no idea.” The murmurings grew in the crowd (which was also growing) and their host shuffled his feet a bit, avoiding any eye contact by watching the little clouds he kicked up. It got pretty quiet for a while. One of the others (also named Peter, naturally) raised his hand and waited kind of patiently to be called on, then asking “So we’re dead, right?” to which the old man said “Oh yeah, definitely.” Another Peter asked if the old man knew where God went, and the old man responded with a shrug that was really a little too nonchalant for your narrator’s taste, all things considered. Old man Peter (or Simon, whatever) offered a condolence, stating “I mean, the good thing is that at least you made it this far, right? I mean, you did a good job, you know? It could be worse. Really.” Some other Peter asked “So we just have to wait here? Until God comes back?” to which the old man said “Yeah, I guess so.” The roomful of Peters quietly nodded their heads in understanding, and old man Peter (or Simon, whatever) looked happy with his explanation of things. It was pretty quiet again for a little while until Peter, your narrator, asked the old man if his old dog was on the other side of the gates waiting for him, to which the old man replied “Oh, no no. Dog God died years ago.”
Posted on: Thu, 13 Jun 2013 04:18:05 +0000
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