ALL WOMEN PLEASE READ THIS!!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A MOTHER! How many bikini season posts have I seen on the internet so far this Spring? How many sopping guides; rules to determine which fruit I resemble the most? How many lists are there of swimsuits and sundresses that are “appropriate” for my body type? How much time have I spent in front of the mirror, scrutinizing the soft hills and jagged edges of my own body, pulling and tucking and arranging and wishing that something could be different or somewhere else? Am I an apple? A pear? An hourglass? A roast chicken? I don’t love my body. I don’t hate it, either. It’s an instrument capable of both good and bad. It does things that I like and do not like. Sometimes it fails me. Most often, it performs the way I need it to and I am grateful. I made and fed two babies with it. It carries me through the woods, to my job, to the playground with my kids. It isnt ornamental; it’s a machine. I am lucky. Yesterday I read a blog post written by a stranger (a mother) about bikini season and the need to lose weight. She wrote apologetically about how she just wants to be skinny. She wrote about swearing off food until she was skinny enough to be able to wear a bikini; she wrote that she plans on only consuming three protein shakes a day until she is as skinny as she wants to be: skinny enough to deserve that bikini. As a human and a woman, I understand. It’s okay to want to be attractive (whatever your definition of that may be). If there is something that you don’t like about yourself, it is absolutely your choice to change if it you want to, however you want to. It isnt my or anyone else’s business. As a parent. AS A PARENT. I remember getting my daughter ready for school one winter morning. She was 4. She slipped her little arms into her puffy winter coat and suddenly started to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she turned her perfect, beautiful little face up to me and said, “This coat makes me look fat.” I cried right there at that very moment. My heart hurt so much for her. All of the frustration I have ever felt with my own body and appearance welled up in that moment. I knew exactly how she felt, and I was beyond horrified that she was feeling it. At 4 years old, my daughter was afraid people would think she was fat. In that moment, I promised to never, ever, say negative things about mine, ours, or anyone else’s bodies. At home, in our shared family lives, we think we have private moments, but we really don’t. Our kids see everything. They see us skipping meals and eating tiny portions. They hear the things we say about our fat thighs and flat asses and too small/too big boobs. They think we’re beautiful because they love us, and when we turn around and shame ourselves, we teach them to do the same. We are their standard and they are our mirrors, and we will never be able to show them how to accept who they are while we are so busy hating ourselves. I am trying to accept myself for them. I am trying to show my kids that there are so many ways to be healthy and beautiful. And as for bikini season, here is what I recommend for obtaining a bikini body: 1) Have a body, and 2) Put a bikini on it. It doesnt matter what kind of fruit you’re shaped like. Isn’t that nice?
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 00:27:42 +0000
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