ANGER MANAGEMENT CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE Anger management can save your life. Anger can place you at high risk for developing electrical abnormalities in the heart tissue. These electrical abnormalities are strongly associated with subsequent heart attacks. The chances of surviving an out-of-hospital heart attack are not good. Anger control can save your life by reducing the risk of an out-of-hospital heart attack (Rashba, Lampert 2009). Why we need the emotion of anger Charles Darwin was the first to note the universality of anger and other facial expressions of emotion. He viewed this as evidence that emotional signals like anger have been stamped by evolution into the central nervous system. Anger has an essential survival function; “Flee or fight”. It can be a sign of how we feel about our principles, values; culture etc as well as how closely and protective we feel about certain issues; e.g. our culture, our tribe; our kids, our being etc if something we perceive threatening is said about our culture for example. Anger is a normal natural human emotion, neither sinful nor evil; It is how it is channeled/expressed which may be destructive; hurtful and hence the need to manage it; If not managed it may cause pain, hurt and destroy relationships. Its therefore important that it is managed effectively. Anger management does not in any way imply bottling-up and pretending to be okay when one is actually fuming on the inside. ANGER MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES First and foremost acknowledge the emotion of anger; admit that you are angry; and identify what brought it on. These are strategies to change your attitude to the expression of anger, as well as immediate and long term behaviours to control anger. Focus and mind-set strategies • Change your perception; many a times we get upset based on our perceptions of events To control anger one needs to control the scripts that lead up to it; what things triggers your angry emotion? • Hes being stupid again. Recognize how easy it is for the best among us to be wrong and make mistakes. Don’t expect life to go on as planned • Its OK to blow my top once in a while. Talk things over before you reach the explosive stage. Think of how you will regret having been indiscreet and hurting someone. It could work to your disadvantage later. - Don’t view an occasional outburst as good for letting off steam. - - Don’t bottle up your feelings - express them civilly. • Ill show him whose boss. Remember that your aggression is likely to spark a chain reaction of aggression in others. - Losing your temper is not the mark of a strong character who knows his/her mind • Thats my right. There is a difference between feeling indignation and losing your temper because you cannot have things your way. The former leaves room for negotiation, the latter only makes things worse • If you believe that things always have to be seen your way or happen the way you want, then when they don’t; you are bound to experience anger. STRATEGIES FOR IMMEDIATE ANGER CONTROL • Monitoring your feelings is one of the key skills for anger control. Be aware of your body sensations, such as flushing, muscle tensing, and heart beat as you are getting angry. Take those feelings as a cue to stop and consider what to do next instead of shouting or lashing out. • Force yourself to keep your voice down. Make a deliberate attempt to speak quietly and slowly • Take time out. Remove yourself physically by walking away from the place of argument; walking away to diffuse the situation, until you are calm to discuss the issue rationally is not a sign of weakness; in fact it’s a sign of being emotionally intelligent; as they is not point in you and the other person competing in raising voices wherein none of you is actually listening; when that happens; you both might end up saying things in a heated argument which you might end up regretting later. • Count to ten slowly ; and breath so the impulse to retort will pass • Look at your face in the mirror. Now you know why the others are laughing • Reflect on the situation; ask yourself what it is about what the other person did or said which is causing you to get upset WHAT TO DO IN THE LONG RUN Study your anger. Keep a journal/ diary of trigger incidents. Look for the pattern. Avoid precipitating situations as far as possible. Two situations that commonly precipitate anger. 1. Insecurity, which makes you unduly sensitive. As well as fear and jealousy. Social cues interpreted as hostile may in fact be neutral or friendly. 2. Frustration. Learn to accept what can’t be altered. Do your best – do not frustrate yourself over what is not in your control. Cultivate a sense of perspective. Often the things we lose our temper over seem trivial in hindsight. What really matters to you in life? See things against that background. If its friendship, is it worth losing your friend by losing your temper? Take the perspective of other people. Get a sense of how you are being seen and of what other people might be thinking and feeling in the encounters that make you so angry Understand people’s behaviour that triggers anger in you. Ask yourself: ‘why do I always get angry with him/her?’ Why do you find them irritating? Enter into their experience – what does it feel like to be them? Others may not accept your point of view all the time. Understand the other person’s point of view. Dont be judgemental. You have control over your emotions but very little control over other people’s behaviour and emotions. Nobody can make you angry unless you allow them to and give them power to do that. You alone have a choice either to get angry over something or choose not to; Every time you get angry, ask yourself; is this issue worth getting angry over? Will my getting angry change the situation? - Could your anger be the sign of past hurts? Or your fears and feelings of insecurity and inability to handle the situation? - Could it be brought about by the fact that you probably went through a similar situation in the past and know from past experience that you did not do well in the situation? - Could it be linked to your childhood upbringing and believes that the only way to be heard and to resolve issues is through aggression; or having been brought up in a home where anger was used as a tool of communication? Or could it emanating from the fact that you are stressed either at work or in your relationship? - Relaxation and breathing techniques: Incorporate a relaxation period in your routine – meditation, yoga, music; whatever works for you. Get direct training in anger control. Many individuals are unhappy that they lose their temper easily. They are receptive to learning how to control it. In the heat of the moment, cool-headed responses such as walking away or counting to ten so the impulse to hit will pass are not automatic. Practice such alternatives in role-playing scenes. Try out friendly responses that preserve dignity while giving an alternative to shouting, hitting, and sulking. Anger may signal a treatable underlying mood disorder. Treat it. Protect your heart References 1. Eric J. Rashba . Anger Management May Save Your Life: New Insights Into Emotional Precipitants of Ventricular Arrhythmias. J. Am. Coll. Cardiol. 2009;53;779-781. doi:10.1016/j.jacc.2008.11.023 2. Rachel Lampert, Vladimir Shusterman, Matthew Burg, Craig McPherson, William Batsford, Anna Goldberg, and Robert Soufer. Anger-Induced T-Wave Alternans Predicts Future Ventricular Arrhythmias in Patients With Implantable Cardioverter-Defibrillators. J Am Coll Cardiol, 2009; 53:774-778, doi:10.1016/j.jacc.2008.10.053
Posted on: Sat, 09 Nov 2013 20:58:45 +0000
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