ATB JUST FOR LAUGHS By Mitchell Odhiambo People say ignorance is bliss but this is far from true. Check out the story below. Name withheld to save him from more embarrassment. ********************************************** The most embarrassing moment after high school was when I was working at my cousin’s Cyber (internet) cafe. I wasn’t actually working; it’s those moments when you are done with high school and your parents want you to go to a new environment before you start increasing the population around with young girls you met back at drama festivals. So I’m in the cyber and it’s like 2 months since I left home and I’m enjoying life to the fullest. I’m scanning, photocopying, printing, typesetting, binding, and all the activities that typically go on in a cyber cafe . My cousin usually took his lunch break at around 11.45am and this day was no different. So, after he leaves for lunch, I’m on the main computer at the counter browsing like a boss, and every computer in the cyber is full of customers. I’ve got my headphones on watching real hip-hop on YouTube when a customer asks me “Boss, hii computer yangu ikona PDF [Boss, does my computer have PDF ?”] That question caught me off guard. For in the 2 months I’d been working at this cyber, not once had I heard the word PDF and nor had my Cuzo (Cousin) mentioned PDF during my orientation. And so I reacted as you do that moment when you’re in class and the most feared teacher enters the classroom and asks, Have you all completed that assignment I gave you during the last class? and yet, you have no idea what assignment he is talking about but 99% of your peers raise their hands, while you are in the remaining 1 percent. So I’m looking at this customer and I know there is no way that Ill admit to not knowing what a PDF is - no way will I give him that satisfaction. So I stand up and walk to his computer, puffing up my chest and I say, “Hii PDF niliaawacha hapa kando kwa computer I say as I bend down to look for this pdf. Ebu niangalie kwa hii space kama inaeza kuwa imeanguka chini.” [This pdf, I left it next to the computer I inform the client as I bend down to look for it Let me check under the desk. Perhaps it fell down on the floor. By now, the whole cyber cafe has broken in to laughter but I did not care and was not going to be distracted; for I was on a mission, and that mission was to find and pull out that PDF from under the table, come rain or shine. So my cousin walks in and I walk straight up to him and in all seriousness ask “Cuzo, ile PDF nilikuwa nimeweka hapo kwa meza ikicharge, iko wapi???” [Cousin, the PDF that I left on top of the table charging, where is it?] Laughter rang even louder in the room - was that a customer I saw clutching his ribs? My cousin then gives me a quizzical look as if to ask What on earth is this kid on? He seems to say While I’m okay with him continuing to search for the PDF under the table, I will not stand by and allow him to call me cuzo in front of my customers. I will not take that kind of shame.” And so my cousin walks to the client’s computer, clicks Windows, Start, Menu, then opens Adobe Reader and then whoosh, PDF comes to life. That’s when I realized that PDF was actually a software, as is Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint etc. And so I spent the rest of the day thinking about how I had claimed that I was charging the PDF, even claiming that it had fallen under the table and worse, searching for the pdf under the table. And I realized how stupid I must have come across. Needless to say, from that day onwards, customers would enter the cyber, login and if my cousin was out at lunch, they would approach me and ask “Boss, hii computer yangu ikona Mozilla Firefox ama pia hiyo umeiweka kwa charger??” [Boss, does my computer have Mozilla Firefox or have you also plugged this in to the charger as well ). I resigned 3 days later... ************************* Waah!! Educate yourself please. Read wide, far and deep. So tell me, any such mishaps or similar funny stories that have happened to you? Share them with me. Inbox me. Have a great week. From Mitchell Odhiambo
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 06:30:00 +0000
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