Actual conversation between me and two telemarketers today: Her: Hello. I noticed youre interested in going back to college. Mind if we discuss your options today? Me: Um...Um...Its done. Her: Ok. Well, what do you think you would like to study? Me: (in low almost breathy voice) Um...Funeral Director. Her: OKAY, well. Let me see if I can get someone who can guide you the right direction. Im going to put you on hold for a minute, ok? Me: ok (starts to cry) Him: Hi. My name is Cedric. How can I help you today? Me: Its done. Cedric: Whats done? Me: Its done. I just dont know what you want me to do with the body now. Cedric: um...um...what body? you mean like a dog or a cat or something. Its not a human is it? Me: Yes. Its a human body. Its in the freezer in the barn. Now what do I do? (more crying; more heavy breathing and anxiety in voice) Cedric: um. (clears throat) um, man...um..well? I dont know. Are you telling me you have a human body buried in your freezer? whoa. Thats heavy. Man...... Me. Yes. What would you do, Cedric? Cedric: um..mam? I think you better call the police for this. I cant help you. Me: Yeah. Maybe I should call the police, Cedric. AND WOULD YOU MIND TAKING MY DAMN NUMBER OFF YOUR CALL LIST? I GET TIRED OF YOU TELEMARKETER PEOPLE CALLING ME! IVE BEEN TO COLLEGE! OKAY, CEDRIC????? (CLICK!)
Posted on: Sat, 05 Apr 2014 04:26:20 +0000
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