After the Christmas apocalypse, day four: Dear diary. Joe, Mary and I plodded onward through the desert for an age. Night came, and went again, and ever we walked on. Joe and I had to wait periodically for the great lumbering walrus that was Mary, as she seemed pregnant fit to burst at any moment, barely able to keep up, and yet on she waddled, like some blundering Saharan penguin. When Joe and I had walked some distance ahead, I voiced my concerns. Joe, its fight or flight in these times, and she cant do either. I think we should call it quits for her and head on without her. Joe protested, but I pressed on. Look, if we stay traveling with her, shes just going to be bait to the undead. Really, its for all our good. She cant run, cant fight them, her constant complaining will alert them to us, and shes leaving footprints like tank tracks through the desert, theyre only going to come for us faster. I suppose it really would be for the good of all of us, Joseph reasoned. Absolutely. I agreed. After all, better the two of us survive this than none of us at all. As if to illustrate my point, we suddenly became aware of a long, drawn-out groaning. The zombies had found us! A group of five or six neared us over the sands. Hey, Joe! This is it, lets make a run for it! We can get away as they pick her bones clean! I started to run, and Joe seemed somewhat reluctant at first, but as the living dead closed in, soon changed his tune. Were best off, really, he reckoned, as he joined me in a jog. Just as we were leaving, we overheard the most terrible sound, like a whirlwind of screams. We looked back, and there was Mary, a flurry of arms and legs, blundering from creature to creature, slashing, tearing, biting and raving; a veritable hurricane of fury. From one to the next she moved, relieving them of their capitations as they stumbled and reached for her. The last one fell, and she crushed his unfortunate skull beneath her heel. With it done, she tottled over to us. Where were you, boys? she asked. Oh, sorry, love, there were some more over this way... looks like they gave us the slip, mumbled Joe, squinting off into the distance. He and I exchanged an awkward glance. Never again would we underestimate the furies of a pregnant woman. Suddenly, Joe shouted out. There it is! he pointed to a small cluster of buildings on the horizon. Keep plodding on, now, little Mary! Bethlehems in sight!
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 19:19:52 +0000