Alrighty, time to get deep here. I wont be posting tomorrow so here we go. Tomorrow marks the 7 year mark since the loss of my mother. What a wild ride it has been since. Truth is, I wasnt always as positive as I am today. Dont get me wrong, I was never a bad guy..just not as formed as I am now. After the death, I took it hard. (The fact it was 2 days before my birthday was a mind killer) So many regrets..so many things I wish I could of said.. the usual thoughts we all have when we lose someone we love. I was addicted to vicodin for about a year after, not realizing that there were no demons I was trying to mask, the demon was my mind..my own perception. There was nobody to blame but myself, but I didnt see it this way at the time. I pushed away those closest to me in attempts to get them away from the pain I knew I would cause them in this darkness...except for a single best friend who I let inside my mangled mess of a brain and heart. I was lost...confused...depressed. He stuck by me through my darkest hours and I cannot thank him enough. I finally started to stand on my own..I quit the addiction cold turkey by using my mind for good instead of evil. Ever since, I have been on a enlightened path of expanded consciousness that I could not explain. I started doing the things my mother left behind vowing to always help people, take care of those in need, and fight for the ones who cant fight. Fast forward 4 years to 2011 and now I am in mindset I never dreamed possible. I am now starting to find my calling, and getting really damn good at it. Helping others..protecting them. With my pain slowly dying inside, I dust myself off and start my new self. This change was also bittersweet to those around me, because I was conflicting my old ways and adapting the new, trying to perfect it while still fighting the old self. Now lets go to 2012. The year of consciousness. And boy was it ever. I have started to apply all the things I had taught myself and put it into motion. I started opening my facebook page to those struggling with addiction, or any other advice they needed. I helped out at homeless shelters, giving what I could to those who had nothing. Visiting nursing homes (which I still do time to time) just so the elders had someone to talk to. And now here I am today. A man who has triumphed over the chains of his own mind only to emerge stronger than before and turning that darkness of losing her into an unimaginable bright light to hold as a beacon to those who need me. I am there. I always will be. And so is she...energy can NOT be destroyed, I needed to see this. So my message to anyone who has lost a parent, or anyone close. Find someone that can calm your mind until you can get a hold of it yourself. It will destroy you, it will bring you down. You must remain strong and not think about the What-ifs and what could bes. You will only suffer. Acceptance is the hardest thing, but the acceptance of losing that loved one is much easier to achieve than the acceptance of who you are and what you will become if you walk into the night. Hope you all have a very positive filled day, much love to you all!
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 18:13:32 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015