An MRI scan has brought to light that I have some malformation of arteries and veins that are bunched up inside my skull leading to the brain.It must be from birth.Expert opinion says that happens in 20 per percent of humanity. If it leaks or bursts it could maim me or paralysld nt have some functions or kill me. If I hadnt done the MRI I wouldnt have known.if I pack it with gell, it would prevent bursting but in the process , there could be seepage of gell in other places with a 2% chance of a stroke in the process. If I am operated , 10% chance of a stroke. So my GP panicked and told me to get admitted. Dont be scared.But I have to tell you the truth. Do I look scared? No you dont. So just tell me what you have to say. So I heard him out, came home, called my son ad partners,downloaded my plans and possibilities and instructed them what to do with ongoing projects,called up my insurance agent and asked for an insurance of 2 crores,called up my lawyer and arranged for documnts of power of attorney in my sons name,called up an old old classmate and another schoolmate, took their opinions, took the tablets,and now have put up my feet on the table and am watching India play England at Lords. I will do an MRI aftr three months and then take a cll on that. People die everyday.That means someone like me.big Deal.I am ready.. I live for my projects and I live for the moment. I act like I am going to live forever and I live like its the last day of my life and thats fine. All through life ,human beings live like being on a toilet seat and then informed that there is a bomb under them. All I know now that its not under my backside, its up there in my brain.a transfer of an abstract phenomenon from South to a physical manifestation up North hardly shifts my experience of life.So I will work towrds my new , exciting projects, I will wait for my son to create great enterprises, I will look forward to seeing beautiful sights with my wife,holding her hand shyly and knowing how lucky I am to have her, wait for soft, cuddly, chubby, drroling grandkids lolling on my belly and sit with my legs crossed at look intently at the five pointed star and watch my breath coursing up and down my spine. Lives have come and gone and more will happen. I celebrate the magic of existence and seek to participate in Creation. My void is full to the brim.I am alive to the tips of fingers and toes.Living is a great adventure and Death a greater mystery.As Nisargadutta Maharaj says, ? Desire and Fear are the two banks of the river of life. Hold on to neither.Death may come any moment it chooses..I embrace it with a naughty smile.
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 18:06:42 +0000
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