An Undertaker is an illwiller to the human race. He is by profession an enemy to his species … To be friends with an Undertaker is as impossible as to be the crony of a Crocodile. — He is by trade a hypocrite, and deals of necessity in mental reservations and equivoques. — Thus he drinks to your good health, but he hopes secrety, that it will not endure. He is glad to find you so hearty as to be apoplectic; and rejoices to see you so stout, — with a short neck. He bids you beware of your old gout — and recommends a quack doctor. He lements the malignant fever so prevalent — and wishes you may get it. He compliments your complexion when it is blue or yellow; admires your upright carriages, and hopes it will break down. Wishes you a good day, but means everlasting night; and commends his respects to your father and mother, but hopes you do not honor them. In short his good wishes are treacherous; his inquiries are suspicious; and his civilities are dangerous … T. Hood, The North American and Daily Advertiser, Philadelphia, PA, September 14, 1842.
Posted on: Sun, 14 Sep 2014 00:52:12 +0000
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