And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26) These are the words that I woke to this morning. But they came to me in the most interesting way. A friend from college has a daughter who has received an organ transplant and these were the words that encouraged her...the wonder of being reminded that God had spoken of organ transplantation so long before being medically possible! They encouraged me as well. This has been a very difficult week for me...and for my family as well. Im not sure why this week has been so hard or why it has been different than the other difficult weeks...it just has, I guess. Last night we gathered around our campfire telling Ezekiel stories and speaking of regrets and how we missed him and ultimately pleading our hearts to God. We are still fighting for composure these days, which makes preaching and just talking and thinking all the more difficult for me. His absence seems to grow in its sharpness instead of dulling...he left such an imprint on me...an imprint that I cherish and am grateful for...it is a grace that God has given me even as its beauty is what makes the pain so sharp. We chose Ezekiels name because of its meaning. It means God strengthens and there is a verse that really spoke to us before he was born. Ezekiel 3:9 reads, I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint. Do not be afraid... It was because of Ezekiels hydrocephaly that these words meant so much to us...it comforted us in the most wonderful of ways...and God did harden his forehead and there was reason for us not to be afraid. But strangely, I feel now that we were providentially guided to the name Ezekiel for a different reason...I think the verse that sits atop this post is more fitting and more relevant...at least to us now. While Ezekiel had a rather hard forehead (no pun intended...he often gave me great pain with inadvertent head butts when we would wrestle) his heart was so soft. God had given him such a sweet and fleshy heart. It was so natural for him to weep with those who wept and rejoice with those who rejoiced...Ive heard many such stories since his passing. And within him was a heart for Jesus and to be like Jesus that only God could transplant! Im grateful that I can continue to read Ezekiels own words that reflect that very truth...that God had given him a heart that would long for and chase after Him. That was something a loving, earthly father could never do...no words of mine would ever lead Ezekiel to be conformed to the Image of Jesus Christ...no pleadings from me would make him feel for the things of God or want for His ways to be his ways...only God could do such a transplant, but Im profoundly grateful that He allowed me to share the gospel with Ezekiel and be witness to His divine surgery! That quickens my fleshy heart and mingles joy into my streaming tears of sadness. And while I continue to breathe the words, This is too much. This is too much, I know that it is not too much for Him who has promised to be with me just as He was with Ezekiel and that He will be the Giver of my strength to put the next foot forward...and He will tell me again...just as He did some almost 14 years ago...Do not be afraid! Soli Deo Gloria!
Posted on: Mon, 07 Apr 2014 11:13:46 +0000
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