Anonymous: Its been 3 years since my divorce. Once an in involved and devoted father whod work all day, come home, make dinner, take care of the kids, homework, bathe them, bedtime routine, various household chores before Id be allowed to go to bed while my then wife would sit on her backside because she was tired or it was my turn or she needed a break from doing nothing all day. I never complained-my love for my kids outweighed any argument she would bring. While going through our nasty divorce, her manipulative tactics in the courtroom and narcissistic mentality with the lawyers ended up leaving me with nothing, and her with everything-including our children virtually all the time. I get the typical 4 days a month and dinner once a week. Thats fair, right? Yeah...right. Now 3 years later and counting, Ive moved on, got remarried, have a new family, including my kids (who love their step-siblings)-I think of my kids daily and hurt daily as if this all happened yesterday. I watch them struggle emotionally and she wont let them associate with me unless its my court ordered parenting time. They, nor I can call unless its for the bedtime goodnight call which sometimes happens...sometimes not. Any call outside of her 15min window she gives me will be ignored. We have been ordered a parenting time expediter to assist in changing some of these (and many other) issues weve been having in the best interest of the joint children that I cannot afford. Her consistent contempt of court decisions have led nowhere with the judge and I constantly feel lost. Ive tried everything, Ive called attorneys to get advice and they all tell me to hire an attorney or just try and deal with it until theyre 18. I cannot afford an attorney! Three years later I still imagine the good times with my kids and look at the few pictures I managed to take before I was asked to leave, along with the times that we struggle. I think about the ongoing alienation and how no matter what I do I cannot change things. I continue to struggle financially where she gets over $1,000/mo of my paycheck in CS, drives a very high end SUV, seems to always have new name brand clothes, posts pictures on Facebook about going to concerts, vacations, and out nearly every weekend for drinks, not to mention living in a 4BR house in a nice neighborhood...none of these I can experience. I find myself listening to the radio and there are times even after three plus years if I hear certain songs that remind me of my kids, I cry. It just happens. My heart breaks. I see all these groups and postings of how were coming together to fight the court systems and demand fathers rights and equality, but at times I have to admit, its very hard not to lose faith in equality. This is a biased system that is blind to narcissistic, manipulative, alienating parents. Childs best interest is just, in my opinion and experience, a bullshit statement that the system portrays themselves as using as a guideline to create a fabricated sense of comfort for the other parent; the alienated parent; me. I know Im not alone, and as sick as it makes me to realize this, I also know there are other fathers that are experiencing far worse situations than I. For what its worth and for whoever reads this message, know even though I am just one father, I am one stubborn ass and a very vocal one at that. I will make sure my voice is heard when it needs to be and when Im called upon to stand up for fathers rights. I will make damn sure to tell, no matter WHO it is, that fathers have legal rights and they NEED to be exercised. Thank you to everyone involved in helping us be heard. Please dont ever stop! -a dedicated father Thank you
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 14:30:02 +0000
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