Anonymous Life isnt easy..each day I face difficulties. I wish I can just live a life full of joy and happiness, but life isnt just about that. Life is about facing challenges but mine is to much...I try my best to do well but gets negative back.... I do bad I get yelled at, I do good I still get scold at.... Whats the point of doing something for someone when they know you cant do as well as them? I live in a life full of hate, sadness, happiness, difficulties and grudges. I wished I can tell my family about my feelings how hard its for me too... The person I want to talk to is my mother.. She has grudges and somehow only cares about her own feelings she acts as if her life is most difficult. I understand that its hard for her but its also for me too. If me and my siblings forgot or did something wrong she will call us j muag it hurts that she sees us like in a bad way... Im the oldest and I take most of the responsibility, being a Hmong girl Is hard its not easy, I know that I know that Im not the best daughter as my mom wished me to be. It hurts when she compares me and my younger sibling to others. I just wish for my mother to be herself again. After her divorce with my dad she became a monster... My mother is long gone... Shes not my mother no more...I remember she wasnt such a monster... Ive lost my mother... I dont want to use the word monster but she has become a monster.... She got remarried and everything just seem so different... I know in her theres a dark secret that shes hiding from all of us... I dont understand..., I always had a feeling that my step dad brain washed her... She is the only person who makes me sad and cry at some nights. I love my mom but I dont know if I can love her like I use to. Ive lost the family that I once had, and I dont want to lose to lose everyone because of hate towards everyone. Theres days where I wish I can just disappear and never to return home but theres nowhere for me to go... Cause my home is my closet... Yea closet because its where I can cry to myself and ask questions to why Im here and why I was born in this family... I dont know the answers to why but some day I will.... Life isnt just about full of happiness its also about the challenges youll take... I climb mountains everyday, up and down. I face many difficulties but Im manage to climb right back up, even if it takes my days, months or years to regain. I will never give up. I hope to help my mom and make a difference in our lives.
Posted on: Wed, 21 May 2014 04:11:35 +0000
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