Anonymous wrote: I first noticed the alienation when_____ part 3 - final. When the judge granted me a visit that my daughter had asked me for and I went the 2,000 miles to see her, she changed her mind and decided she was “uncomfortable” with a visit, using the fact that I had recognized someone who used to work with her dad in the gym where she had cheer practice. She claimed that made her “uncomfortable” because the court order said I “wasn’t supposed to bring anyone” to the visit with me. Confused, and having 7 more days across the country from my home, I decided to reach out to her school to address the “no mother listed” issue. After sitting in my daughter’s guidance counselor’s office describing the entire insanity and my absolute confusion as to how, what, and WHY this was happening, the counselor said, I suggest you might want to research Parental Alienation because after you leave here, I won’t be able to discuss your child with you at all until their father comes into the school and lists you on the school records as an approved contact or until you have the actual court order forcing us to override the policy. I sat in the parking lot of that school and Googled this foreign term “parental alienation”, desperate for answers and clinging to this new hope that all of this was going to finally maybe make some sense. Since that day, I almost wish I hadn’t ever heard the term. It definitely helped me to see very clearly in hindsight what had been happening. It also helped me to better understand the little nuances of odd behaviors leading up to that very point and the subsequent unexplainable cruelty to me. However, I was now able to fully see and understand that this actually is child abuse and was doing detrimental damage to my children day in and day out. And, knowing that factually…that my children WERE being abused and damaged to achieve this effect… while not being able to stop it due to court charades, huge income discrepancies, and my own children going along with it, really feels more hopeless than if I’d just been able to keep blaming myself and digging desperately for what I had done wrong as a mother to get to this point. After all, as long as it was MY fault, then there was hope to correct it and make the nightmare end. And trying to get a court to actually listen and recognize this as abuse and do something to stop it was going to prove frustrating, financially draining, and crazy-making.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 01:50:58 +0000
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