As a child I had a vision of how the man that came into my life would be. Of course he was just like my father but dark chocolate hahahahahahaaaa!! When I got older I chose the wrong type and all those things I wanted I compromised for different reasons. Settled for men that dont open my door, said they loved me but actions rarely showed it, had their hand out or expected me to be their ride or die no matter what they did to me. My dad always asked me, if a man couldnt do for me at least what he did for me what did I need that man for??? This is such a strong statement to me because as daughters our father is our first love. He is an example of what a man should be. I allowed a couple bad apples to lower my standards and because of this when an awesome man found me it was hard for me to accept his love. His constant compliments annoyed me (now yall know thats crazy hahahaaa). I was so used to doing everything for myself it was hard to even accept gifts. Crazy crazy stuff now that I look back hahahahaaa. I had to pray that God remove those walls I had built so I could love him the way he deserved to be loved. I thank God that he never got tired of loving me even when I was hard to love. Being through all that I have especially the DV it was hard to open up. I had to talk to myself and remind myself that I deserved to be loved like this. The devil would have us to think that we are unworthy because of our past. Im here to remind you that Jesus died for our past and its time to let it all go. Know who you are in Christ. See yourself as God sees you. God knows exactly what we need and when. Carlos Reyes Ruiz came at a time when I wouldve possibly made the wrong relationship decision just to satisfy my flesh. He is all that I could ever dream of. Only thing missing from my childhood dream is the dark chocolate skin and Im cool with that hahahahahahaaa!!!! God sent me a man after his own heart. A man that loves me, protects me and also loves my children. It takes an awesome man to accept children that arent his and to love them as if they were his blood. Who wouldve thought that a high school friendship would turn into this????
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 16:35:56 +0000
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