As children grow, most face examples of intolerance, bullying, intimidation, threats, beatings, shunning, humiliation, emotional blackmail and rejection from other children. Its the unavoidable gauntlet we all must run, part of the crucible that is early life in our American society. But children should not have to endure a constant barrage of those very same abusive behaviors from their own fathers, in their own homes. Many dominating fathers (and some mothers, too) constantly engage in these abuses. They hand out rewards of affection and support only when the child shows unquestioning obedience and approved behavior. Punishment and correction come quickly at the slightest hint of variation from approved norms. I wish such parents would realize they are not training dogs. They are not their childrens owners. Theyve been granted by God a blessing denied to many - the opportunity to, for a time, be the providers of SANCTUARY AGAINST the abuses their children face from others, not to be their constant, most painful, most harmful source. Were the relationship and ages of the participants unknown, upon hearing examples of such parents behavior we would not assume these were their own children, but most likely hostages being held by some obsessed cult leader, a Jim Jones wannabe trying to turn the familys home into his (or her) personal little Jamestown, Guyana, filled with unquestioning, leader-worshipping minions. These parents claim endowment of special knowledge denied to others. Theyve convinced themselves that their intimidation, domination, their insistence on obedience and agreement, their withholding of love and their threats of, or actual, shunning and rejection are not abuse, but signs of love! Many of these parents are the children of similarly sick fathers whose abuse was also justified with self-serving lies, Im only saying/doing this for your own good, and This hurts me more than it hurts you. And so the cycle continues, with the abused becomes the abuser. God Bless the courageous children who survive such parents without becoming like them.
Posted on: Mon, 09 Jun 2014 19:05:05 +0000
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