“As these early models of attachment are later activated within a couple’s relationship, the opportunity emerges to learn about how early experiences shaped implicit reality. Both partners’ private selves are hungry and in pain, fearing annihilation or abandonment by the narcissistic intrusion of parental states that have historically obliterated their own (as in ambivalent attachments) or having adopted to an emotional distance and sense of rejection (as in avoidant attachments). Nurturing their private selves requires that the members of the couple join together in supportively reflecting on how their public selves have struggled to adapt to these intrusions, inconsistencies, and experiences of disconnection without repair. Growth emerges as reflective and resonant dyadic states become achieved with the attuned relationship. Such a process can then allow the couple to achieve more fulfilling and adaptive levels of dyadic self-organization. “ (p. 293, Developing Mind)
Posted on: Thu, 08 Aug 2013 12:13:07 +0000
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