At 1:55am last night, my mother passed away from Brain Cancer. She was my idol, and I loved her so so much! She was diagnosed in January and 5 months later the road has ended. Technically, she was my future mother in law, but she was just Mom to me… Here’s a message from Mike for any of you who are interested in the story of our engagement, her death, and how all this played out… (warning: be prepared to cry) ----------------------------------------------------------------- Now for those of you who are interested, I’m going to tell you a story. See, it was my mothers wishes not to have a funeral or a memorial service. She’ll be cremated and her remains will be taken to a volcano in Maui by the family at an undisclosed time. Even in death, my mother still had others on her mind. So in lieu of the usual, this is the closest I’ll get to a Eulogy. See, my mom decided long ago to give up all of her own dreams and aspirations in order to raise her kids. She would stay home for the next 25 years of her life, focused on nothing but raising my brother, my sister and myself. It wasn’t until I went to college that she finally started focusing on her own life again, and even then, a lot of it was still busy helping others, and myself. Finally, my mom started traveling the globe with my sister and got the opportunity to see a lot in her last few years, but not everything she wanted. She was only 64. Now, a few months back, before I left home to get back on the road in February, I was helping my mom with her treatments and her fight. It was her wishes I got back on the road, and I respected them (after a long talk and argument of course. lol) Before I left, my mother and I had a heart-to-heart you really only ever have with a loved one who sees the end coming. We talked about life and what it would be in the future and what her wishes would be for me among many other things. She asked what was to become of my relationship, and I told her (as apparently many of you thought as well judging from the responses yesterday) that it was a done deal, it was just a matter of convenience and timing now for the marriage stuff. She understood, told me she forbid me to rush anything for her, but she was glad to know who I’d be spending the rest of my life with. Now, a week or two later, some things went down I won’t go into because it’s family business, but a big portion of the drama was because my mom forgot we had that talk (as a result of the cancer attacking her brain) and some of the things she told me. After another long talk, she remembered some of it, and told me from here on out, follow her instructions from that day, no matter what. I said ok, and a week later, I left my dying mother in the care of her best friend (my sister), and the man who lived his entire life for her, my father. Fast Forward to a few weeks ago, when Ryan was out visiting and we were in the Bay Area. The three of us are sitting around, and I get a phone call. It’s home. Mom’s no longer treatable, and we don’t have long left. I should plan on coming home. Well, one of the things my mom always wanted to see was the national parks. I had shown her pictures of Yellowstone and she loved it, and her and my sister were thinking about doing a driving trip before all this went down. So I decided I would go home, but not without something for mom. A few days passed before I would spend the next 5 days straight going from Park to Park taking pictures to show my mom once I got home. It was a very bittersweet trip for me knowing how it would end, but I knew I was doing the right thing... The trip ended, We dropped Ryan off at the airport, and now it was my time. It was time to follow through with the plan. ‘What plan?’ you ask? Well, let’s go back to that talk me and my mom had… When she started asking me about my future, and everything, she wanted to know how I was going to propose. I told her I had an idea, but it was probably crazy. “Well Ma, I was thinking about it, and I know I want to do something memorable, something original, and something that would mean the world to her and to us, not just a dinner or something. So do you remember that Mountain that me and Jessi almost died on last year? Well, it reopens in the end of May. I’m gonna plan out our year to make sure we’re there May 23rd, and I’m going take her back up that mountain pass, and I want to turn her worst memory and biggest fear into a great memory. I’m gonna drive her back up there, 12,000 feet up, and propose to her looking over the country on the road we conquered in a blizzard to keep on living. I think that would be perfect.” Why May 23rd? Well, in the beginning of the relationship, mine and Jessi’s story has never been a simple one, and back then, with travels and everything else, it was hard for us to keep in contact a lot of the time, and to keep things simple, we would just correspond in an old code only a few of you probably remember…. Beeper Code! Lol. So, one of the important ones between us was of course the classic… 143. You may have seen this somewhere in all of her pictures: On her tattoo. ;) Real life Easter Eggs rock, huh? :) Well, so what does one have to do with the other… Well, May 23rd is the 143rd day of the year, and that was why that date was the one I chose. So I get to Albuquerque on May 21st, two days until launch, and I get a call. Moms losing her cognitive abilities. Soon, she won’t be able to speak or understand us, and she’s probably got days left… not weeks. If I was going to say goodbye, it had to be now. And so I had to make a choice. Clearly, you already know which it was, and my plan was destroyed. I would drive to Denver the next day, and fly out to Fort Lauderdale on the first flight I could get. I left Jessi behind because I didn’t want her around all that, and I wanted her to remember my mom, one of her idols, the way she was. I would spend the next two weeks on a roller coaster that I can’t even begin to describe, and wouldnt wish upon my enemies, watching my mom deteriorate before my eyes. Before she slipped away, she wanted to know how the proposal went, and how Jessi was. I told her it would be great and not to worry. My mother started to cry and told me to tell Jessi how sorry she was that she wouldn’t be there to see it. That was one of the hardest moments of my life. But after that moment, I knew I had to do something before it was too late. I would spend a few more days with my mom, but once things were imminent, there was nothing left to do, and she was no longer able to speak or see. I told her goodbye, that I loved her, and I hoped that one day I would make her proud. That I was leaving to go propose to Jessi, and I wanted her to know it was done before she passed. I caught half-a-smile from her when I told her that, she squeezed my hand, and that was the most reaction I saw out of her in a while. I kissed her forehead, and that was the last time I would ever see my mom. Saying goodbye is never easy, but walking away before its over breaks your heart like you wouldnt believe. I caught the first plane back to Jessi, who was now in St. Louis. 5:45am, after not sleeping for a week. I would land at 8:45, we would get to our hotel, and we talked. I filled her in on everything that had happened, and she broke down and started crying, and then I gave her what my mom had left for her which was given to me before leaving, and that was even harder. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how much time I had left… my plan was gone, my mom was about to be gone, and I knew what I wanted to do… So I took a Mouse, specifically an Apple mouse (as Jessi loves telling people) out of my backpack, and I started to tell J what my plan was going to be, and she was totally confused as to what the hell I was getting at, and why I had a mouse! I opened up the back to reveal it stuffed with tissue paper, and inside the tissue paper, were two rings. I told her that before the time came, I wanted my mom to know the woman I was going to be spending the rest of my life with, so she would know her final wish to me was honored before the day came, and how sorry she was she wouldn’t be there for Jessi’s day, and asked Jessi to be my wife. Well if you thought there were tears before I’m not even going to go into what it looked like then. Eventually Jessi would calm down a little and realize she never actually gave me an answer…Lol. She would say yes, and then that special moment was capped off in a classically romantic Mike and Jessi way, “Wait, before I kiss you, I need to blow my nose or I’m gonna snot all over you…” I shit you not. My mom was told that it happened back at home, and she nodded, as was the most she could do. Within 24 hours, my mom passed away, and so it is that our story comes to an end. My mom was Jessi’s idol, and within 3 sleepless hours of getting the news, Jessi had to hop a flight to LA this morning to shoot a magazine cover I’m sure you guys will hear about in 2 months. Shoot starts in a matter of hours. See, my mom was the strongest woman I’d ever known, she did things you wouldn’t even believe, and I see a lot of that strength in Jessi. Well, I’m not gonna end this story with some kind of “cherish your loved ones” cheeseball moral or anything like that, or say that everything happens for a reason… it doesn’t. Shitty things happen sometimes and theres nothing you can do about it. Thousands of people will come down with stageIV Glioblastomas this year. Theres no reason for it, it just happens. What I will say is that I told you this story not only to glorify my mom or explain the engagement, but to show you that every night has a dawn… Things don’t always happen for a reason and treat people however best you see fit, but know that the darkest times will always have a dawn to them. For me, I lost my mother, one of the pillars of my life, and the woman who would do anything for any of us…I lost the woman I spent the beginning of my life with... but through her wishes, and with her guidance, I gained the woman whom I will spend the rest of my life with. I love you Mom. You will be forever missed. 11/17/1950 - 6/9/2014
Posted on: Mon, 09 Jun 2014 14:26:59 +0000
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