At Smiling Joes memorial, one person had the bad taste to walk up to me and say, Dont worry, youll find someone else and get married again. Another person actually had the audacity to say, Well, its not like you were together 20 years. Itll get better before you know it. And that was on top of a 3rd person who tried to invalidate our marriage on the grounds that we eloped to Kentucky...its not a real marriage, you werent residents. In response to all that, and this picture, I say... Dont most people meet, then date a couple hours a week for a while? During dates, however frequent, dont they usually have their attention on dinner, a movie, a sporting or other event? Dont they usually feel uncomfortable sharing things they think their date might have a differing opinion on? And arent they on best behavior and making good impressions for part of those 2-4 years? TOTALLY. So how much real, deep, honest, fearless face-time does it *actually* take to really get to know someone? It depends on how real, deep, honest and fearless both people are. AND how much time they spend in face-time. Except for sleeping, Smiling Joe & I spent 24/7 together from Feb., through August...and we were intentional. We both knew what we wanted and what we wouldnt tolerate and we put it immediately out on the table. We both deliberately *tested* each other, in honesty and all kinds of things. And we had NO distractions. We were wicked, lol. And we were right for each other. I honestly believe the biggest part of that was being willing to be real, deep, honest, fearless and constant. And, because we are all growing and changing, I have to add, until your core values are firm and decided, the idea of a length of time to completely know someone is just bogus.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 05:36:39 +0000
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