BAID One2One: Topical or Relational? Communication in marriage can be summed up in two levels: Namely: 1. Topical 2. Relational 1.Topical: these are issues like where we live, the shopping list, childrens school, Dinner arrangements house decor: colour of furniture, curtains; what movie to watch... Hope you get the drift... 2. Relational:This level of communication can send messages that are much deeper. This level of exchange needs to be handled carefully as it can have intense effect on the context of a conversation or communication exchange. At this level the things we do or say could make our spouse feel valueless. For instance, a wife asked the husband for £50 to purchase a new pair of red shoes... The husband exclaimed... £50!!! The wife got angry and said All you think about is money! You make me feel like the value of the shoes is more valuable than me. She becomes teary and further accuses him of many other things associated with finance in the past and how he had always reacted whenever shed asked to make any personal purchase. At this point, the communication has moved from topical to relational! There will be times that couples would spend hours arguing on Topical issues; but beneath all that is relational issues! It could take years sometimes to come to an agreement on the colour of couch to buy for the house because a spouse feels valueless and is determined to get the other back! Though they are discussing what seemed to be a topical issue... But because the relational aspect is not right there will always be a friction and delays. Have you ever wondered why someone would hyper-react against what you considered menial topic? Inherent in that is a relational problem! Our decisions on topical issues are always influenced by the relational unresolved pains we have deep within. Husband and wife: we can sometimes be right about the topical and fail the relational. If we get the relational right, the topical is a doddle! This is also applicable at every level of relationship. To get healing from relational pains is to embrace healing for your marriage. I pray you would look deep within this very moment and ask God for His healing for those pains with roots deep within your heart. Amen! Remain envisioned ©BAID One2One-2014 ©TOEM 2014 Like|Promote|Share|Comment #Envisioningnuggets
Posted on: Wed, 28 May 2014 12:36:56 +0000
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