Britain needs revolutionary new socialist policies to match the greater wisdom and intelligence of our future Prime Minister, Mr Ed Miliband. Which means taking Britain in a new direction and, yes, even with cost cutting by reducing the former one which may soon seem in some ways to have been a dead end tunnel different to what it was originally intended for. So we have to reanalyse and reassess how the old ways are not working fully as they should to find out what is still missing. And add that additional service with the money saved from the old one. For me, from my years-ago experience as a battered wife who still dearly loves my ex-husband to this very day and not without some admitted fault of my own, dear Ed, the good husband, can start with introducing family mediation as an early intervention to reduce already over-subscribed shelters such as Womens Aid. They are not a good option for women and children, leading to time off school and an alienated stance against a husband who could be helped with his violence problem instead, keeping the family unit together. Speaking from my own experience - always the best starting point - my husband was kicked by his Father with his shoes on painfully and mercilessly in front of his Mother who was unable to prevent it. He was later allowed to smack his Mothers face and about her head in the family home as an adolescent and grown man; something I overhead but did not see during my courtship. His Father told me it was none of my business then and not to go to see what was obviously happening. I ignored the first warning sign thereby. The battering started on my honeymoon when he discovered I,at 17, had some false teeth at the top front. A person shows how cruel they are with their teeth, smiling, and it is a huge draw as a physical attraction. I couldnt do this. Then he spent years of meals never being ready on time whilst I indulged in my hobby of sewing, so time consuming, when I should have chosen, like now, gourmet recipe cookery instead with the time available, as a busy young mother of three. This wore him down over the years when he couldnt look forward to coming home from work as it is so important for a working man to find his meal ready on the table for him. Although there are no excuses for battering a man can only take so much. My husband had a bully streak and when I was the only one around to bully I got it with his fist hitting me fully in the face and knocking me flat on the floor, and in front of my distressed children who began to cry and help Mummy. Add to this his personal dilemma; he has an IQ of 140, Oxford entrance level, and although it took many years he became a Fleet Street newspaper sub-editor on a national daily and this gave him a very big head. He resented me because my own IQ is much higher and I was most of the time able to out-argue him in intellectual discussion. When I won he hit me with his fists as he would only have his own wrong opinion and was so jealous. He had married me to ensure he got clever children, but when they argued with him, and won, as they all had greater intelligences even than him, he just hit them, though not as severely as I was thoroughly beaten, always about my head and face. But I loved him and my neighbour and friend was a family aid with a backward child who was jealous. She told me to go to a divorce lawyer, my having tried Womens Aid, which week I hated and resented in their home. And for Ed Milibands anti-Semitism, she was a hard-nosed Jew; not a gentle, forgiving Christian. Womens Aid paid no regard to my husband being in all other ways an ideal husband who always did the right thing to work and protect us. Our marriage was worth saving. But we couldnt do it on our own, and his stubborn streak meant he would not speak to me for weeks on end, even about school issues and the children when I had to ask Social Services to make him or threaten him with psychiatry. We needed mediation. We had enough love to make our marriage work. If my son had seen his father hit me for all his maturing years he may have grown up to be a murderer; he would certainly have hit me himself. A battered wives home is not the solution. Family mediation is; there are faults on both sides in every marriage and true love never runs smoothly. Ed Miliband must take a more realistic stance on behalf of battered wives and bring in the psychologists and counsellors who will deal with married couples to tease out what is the real problem and its cause. A man must be told he cannot hit a woman. And his children must never see him do it.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 09:39:00 +0000
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