Chapter 24 Ndiqhele ukuyibona kwiifilms la TV ibonakalisa imigca xa isehla ukuba umntu uyanikezela, but that day, it was real. I became dizzy and numb. I was offered a seat next to bhuti’s bed. I saw the lines going down and down. The count went from 84 down to 11. I screamed! No! No! Bhuti No! You cannot leave me like that, please, please! Sis Lwandisa please do something, call the doctor! Give him something! Yhoooo, ndizakuba ngokabani, haaaaayi, haaaaaayi, ndiyeken…………….. Bhut’Sobs grabbed me and put his hand on my mouth as I was screaming. He said: Hayi Alu, hayi, sikhona thina siyifamily yakho ngoku. Behind my teary eyes, I could see the numbers on the TV screen going down, 8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 kwee nzwiiii. I pulled myself forcefully from bhut’Sobs, ndazijula phezu kobhut’Mpumie, crying out very loud. I took his hand, it was cold, I touched his forehead, it was still warm. They closed his eyes and I was removed from the ward. I felt pain in my stomach. What was going to happen to me? I sobbed bitterly. Sis Bongi came to comfort me whilst bhut’Sobs was busy with the doctor and the nurses. It was as if I was in a dream when the funeral undertakers came to fetch him. They covered him in a silver cover and left with him. Latshona emini ilanga kum. There were doctors and nurses and some hospital staff who accompanied ukuya endlini apho kwafika kwenziwa umthandazo. I was still numb iinyembezi zizehlela nje xa ndiqhwanyaza. It was difficult for me to even close eyes endlini, ukuyongena eroomini kabhuti, hayi ndaqonda ukuba andisoze ndiyenze tu leyo. I told myself that I will sleep on the sofa. Ebunyanisweni zange ndilale iintsuku ezimbini until I was given some injections and pills. My body was stiff and ndingatyi, ndandivasa nje ndihlale ndindwanye kungekho nto ithi mandilale. Everytime kufika imoto yayingathi kuzakuthi gqi ubhuti emnyango. I missed his smile, his voice, his beautiful eyes, his body, our talks, making love, the laughter nokwa kuleqana sasidla ngokukwenza endlini. It was even worse on the day of the memorial service. I didn’t know that I was known by almost sonke istaff sasesibhedlele. They told me that ubhuti used to tell them about me, athi Alu this – Alu that. One of the staff members said that they didn’t know my full name because ubhuti used to say Alush. I told her that my full name is Aluludwe. Ekhaya singamantombazana ayifive and no brother. So mna I am the last born so silukrozo lwamantombazana, ukrozo ke yiqueue meaning luludwe lwamantombazana so that’s where my name come from. Okay, after the day of the funeral service we prepared to go to Johannesburg. UMamtolo, umama kabhuti, iisisters zakhe, cousins ne extended family bafika before the day yememorial service. Ndandiqala ukukhe ndilale ngalo mini. I can’t lie, I was very scared when I heard that they were coming, but they gave me warmth and love besithi bebesilindele ngeEasters kuba ubhuti kudala ebaxelela ngam. What I didn’t know kukuba ebesithini xa wayebaxelela, ingaba wayesithi undi adoptile or ndiyigirlfriend yakhe? I didn’t know and I didn’t know how to behave until ndeva uMamtolo ethetha nesister yakhe, umakazi kabhuti, behleba ke phofu esithi: kanti ke Dlangamandla ngekuright ukuba uLelo ebeshiye etyale nto kumakoti lo, ndiyayibona into ebibangela ukuba uLelo amthande lo mntana nangona emncinci nje, unembeko and uyawazi umsebenzi. Yho! Ndothuka ndabethelwa luvalo, ndatsho ndazithandabuza andaqiniseka nokuba ubhuti ushiye etyale nto na nyani. I was not sure nokuba ngala mini yechampagne we were careful okoko na to use a condom as we were both tipsy. I panicked and phoned unurse Lwandisa. She told me uba ze ndivukele esibhedlele ngefollowing day ndiye kuye so that she could run the test. Umvandedwa waphinda wabuya, lwangongoza uvalo kwanzima ukutya nokulala. I was not sure ukuba ndizakuthi ndiyaphi because sasizakuhamba kwakusasa ukuya eGoli and usis’Bongi wayendwebile gqitha so ndandiqonda ukuba she is going to be curious ukuba ndiya phi and ndiyokuthini xa ndisithi ndiya esibhedlele. Arrangements were made with the funeral parlour to transport the body to Joburg and make further funeral arrangements. I took the photos zam nobhuti and put them in my journal so that ndizigcine safe. Ndapakisha ke nam and was ready to go to Joburg for the first time, but ndandisiya kakubi ndingayi kamnandi as planned by bhuti wam.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 06:31:39 +0000
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