Clifton went back to the nursing home last week. I just got through talking to Katherine and telling her I don’t know what I am going to do – the time is fast approaching when Medicare and Aetna aren’t going to be paying for the nursing home, and if he stays there I will have to pay them $161 a day to care for him. The care is pretty good, but the food has gone down so much since he first went there in early April – and I cannot in good conscience condemn this man I have loved and lived with for 60 years to eat that slop for the rest of his life. Tomorrow I am going to try to find where to complain about it because it is just pathetic. Katherine said I could take him food but I can’t see paying someone $161 a day and then my furnishing him food for 3 meals a day, cooking it and delivering it and feeding him. I have thought for a long time that I might feel better if I could just have a good old fashioned cry. I went to church this morning and almost had the cry in church, when we sang “I will rise when He calls my name, and fly on eagle’s wings”. Clifton can’t get up alone, and I could visualize his rising on his own when God calls his name and lets him fly to Heaven. I did not want to have a sobbing session there so I choked it back. It would be so much easier to bid him goodbye than to see him in this terrible shape. He has told me so many times he wished he was dead – he surely isn’t enjoying his life at all. All the antibiotics when in the hospital have given him yeast growth that burns and is miserable. I’m giving him acidophilus, and putting “Boudreaux’s Butt Paste” on him and tomorrow I’ll get him some Activia yogurt and see if he will eat it, because it is supposed to have the bacteria in it that we need in our stomachs and intestines. I would love to get that cleared up because I know it is miserable. In that surgery last week an incision was made in his abdomen and a tube inserted into his bladder to drain it into a bag. The Dr. said depending on how he heals, the tube could be removed in 6 – 8 weeks and he could empty his bladder normally. That, of course, will complicate things if I bring him home – as to going at night. During that 2 weeks he was home before the broken hip, we had lots of wet bed problems. We finally got it pretty well settled but then he had the broken hip, and went back for more surgery. As the wife of one of the patients said, These are not the Golden Years. Please dont stop praying now.
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 02:44:10 +0000
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