Cornel Chibuikem Dibulo 8 TIPS TO MAKE AN EFFECTIVE APOLOGY Saying “I’m sorry” can be tough sometimes. If you want to keep the peace in your home however, learning how to apologize the right way is an essential skill every husband and wife should master. Here’s a quick list of tips on how to apologize and get it right every time, so you can stay out of trouble and stay in the loving arms of your spouse! 1. Say it Like You Mean It This is the first one because it’s the most obvious! Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it. Doing that will only make the problem or whatever may have occurred that warranted the apology worse. Being insincere with an apology is the same as not apologizing at all. 2. Make Eye Contact Always look the person in the eye. This allows for you to make a connection and truly communicate your sincerity. Don’t fidget or flounder about when it’s time to speak up. Look him or her in the eye and speak from the heart. 3. Watch Your Non-Verbals So much of how we communicate and subsequently how it’s received has to do with how things are said. Have you heard the phrase, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it?” Your nonverbal communication cues play a role in that. If you are trying to apologize to your spouse, be mindful of your facial expressions, doing things like rolling your eyes, or presenting defensive body language (like standing with your arms folded). Sending certain nonverbal cues may overshadow the intention of your apology. 4. Don’t Say, “I’m sorry, but…” The word “but” is about to negate everything you said in the seconds before it came out of your mouth. “I’m sorry, but…you’re wrong,” or “I’m sorry if you were offended, but…” No. Don’t do that! It’s better to say, “I’m sorry and…{I won’t do it again}.” Replacing that “but” with the “and” demonstrates that you’re willing to take ownership and responsibility for what you did and return to good standing with the one you love. 5. Be Sensitive to Her Feelings When you apologize, it tells your spouse that you care about their feelings. Even if you don’t understand right away what you did wrong or why your spouse is upset. If they communicate to you that their feelings are hurt, apologizing for that alone can go a long way. Apologizing in a timely manner also helps to show that you care. 6. Allow Him the Time to Accept There’s nothing worse than being on the receiving end of an apology and then immediately afterward being expected to say, “I accept your apology.” Sometimes it may be that simple and you both can move on. Other times, he may need a moment or two to sort through his feelings (naturally, this would depend on the severity of the offense). Apologize to make it right, not simply to make yourself feel better or accelerate a resolution. 7. Lead by Example If all else fails, give the kind of apology you would like to receive. Don’t do it as a way to one-up your spouse and try to show them how much better at it you are then they are. Instead, it’s more like following the golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated. In time, hopefully your spouse will follow suit and you’ll both be on your way toward communicating more effectively. 8. Take It Seriously Laughing or joking around when you apologize in an effort to ease tensions usually isn’t very effective. That type of behavior can give the impression to your spouse that you don’t care about how they feel and are not taking the issue seriously. Don’t let that be the case. Save the silliness for after things have been smoothed over. It may take some time and practice, but if you follow these tips and always communicate from a place of sincerity and good intention, you’ll be a pro at it apologizing the right way! Your spouse will thank you for it and your marriage will thrive because of it! Good luck!
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 01:34:52 +0000
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