Could quite possibly throw in the towel today, for me nah not really although I am tired of being unwell, but more so for others. You can go about getting your work and life done unwell, a little less effectively at times and its always a battle, from the flight of stairs at work to forcing myself out of an almost anesthetic induced slumber in the mornings but you maintain the huss to get them done. The unfortunate thing is no matter what you do if you cant hit it with the perfection of your 100% mode people begin to see you as a burden on them, on their lives, on their ability to work around you while you struggle, on having you fill a space that otherwise could be filled with someone healthy and dependable. Ive vommitted today four times already, held my chest in the bathroom wondering if Im going to pass out and dance to another skipped heart beat but you know what, its not worth talking about here, here where I am already burdening the people around me with my consistent ill presence... I love this work, the giving and lifting of others but I am severly taxed by the time I get home and my family get very little from me in terms of servicing their needs and pursuit of happiness, I know I could be more helpful there. So for them and the people I work with I wonder if today I should jump off the hope rise and fall roller coaster, shut down, embrace a sickness benefit and do this thing on my own. I send it out to yall indirect right now on purpose, why? because one; then the choice is yours to reply no forced interruption on your life and two; because I have imploded and repaired on this thought enough alone. In other words I need some help!
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 01:03:30 +0000
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