Currently I’m getting pussy 8 times a week. Yes it helps to be better looking than Prince Charming himself, but the main reason Ive been so successful with the ladies is due to my experience as a Fox player. Flocks of women appear in large numbers when I whip out my black 6.5 foot cord and insert it into the controller slot. The speed at which my fingers move when I play Fox is a nothing short of a modern-day miracle, many people would pay tickets just to see this. It sounds insane; but it is in fact the reality you live in. For it has been now 7 consecutive years in which you all have funded my extravagant lifestyle of gold chains and motel stains. You hairless rodents insist on calling these shows “smash tournaments”. A tournament involves more than ONE person competing for a prize. I’d win a Midwest tournament wearing a quail mask with Dick Cheney standing behind me holding a loaded shotgun. I could win a Chicago tournament with my controller stapled to the wall while I hurl rocks at the buttons from across the room, blindfolded. If y’all just wanna throw money at me it would be much less of a hassle for my schedule if I setup a paypal account and everyone can donate to me directly. Look for me this weekend at Kings of the North 3. I’ll be playing most my matches while sitting on the toilet using a wavebird controller. If you really want to help out, bring me some challenging reading material (though you’ll obviously have to look beyond the Midwest to find such type of reading). Stay free. Kels Smith – Father of Foxology
Posted on: Tue, 04 Nov 2014 11:40:20 +0000
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