DAY 80. Balancing Act. When I first deprived myself of cigarettes, at the same time I backed up a large load of everything else and dumped it on my life. I drank gallons of water with lemon, and I munched down several jars of dill pickles. I bought a diverse assortment of veggies and made huge colorful, fresh salads. Pepsi – normally a treat for seldom occasions, became a weekend thing, and slushy from the freezer!! The coffee cup became an extension of my hand, and I have switched brands, bought different brands, and different creamers. Last week, I bought a huge bag of frozen french-fries – it takes up half my freezer space! Yet this week, I have made a commitment to no pasta, grains, or other starches during the week. And I walk miles, with purpose. I am working hard at my profession, with renewed enthusiasm. I am reaching for options, pursuing ideas, finding my place. And then, this morning I coughed up phlegm, and there was that shade of brown…the proof of my smoking. It is still there. And it is a reminder: some things take time. This is a long journey, with long healing. Good things are ahead: roadblocks are conceding, and departing. Yet, it is time to steady the voyage. Smokers are not fully aware of how much of their lives they fill and balance with smoking. When they feel bad, they smoke. When they feel good, they smoke. When they celebrate, when they mourn – they smoke. This is my voyage. I am not looking for the smoothest route. Yet, it is time to steady the ship, balance the cargo, settle in for the ride.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Nov 2014 18:48:29 +0000
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