DEAR SANTA I have been a bit naughty again this year so I suppose you wont pay any heed to my wish list as usual. But you know full well I dont give up easily so here is me spirited defence and plea. I admit I deliberately pranged the harmonium in the hope that the rest of Team Ambrose would take the hint. That was several degrees north of reality, wasnt it? So could i have some crash airbags for Y Nauci 14? Please. Note I remembered please. Do I get credit if I think of others? Well, the rest of our motley crew anyway. Its worth a try, so here goes. Me bro Mordecai needs to mantis up. He has a sort of backbone but seldom chooses to employ it. I cant reemember which of those freaks in the Judy garland fillum needed courage but could you do the business? Oh, and his brain needs zapping as well. he still believes in fairies. A grown (25ft) mantis, I ask you! No diswrespect to your elves, of course. Is this where I need to say please again to make the magic work? Now onto the mega-scorpions. Uncle Lucas is a tough old thing with a sting, but he is going through a bad patch at present. He hasnt lost his temper or tried to brain me with a spanner recently, so he must be pretty low. Please present a seasonal gift to this remarkable subterranean engineer and maniac by shrinking his piles. Please. I beg you to stop Auntie Pamela from serving us up those bloody Xmas puds again this year. My digestion has only just recovered from the last batch. Perhaps you could place a suggestion of a nice Baked Alaska or some Dundee Cake in her bonce? Please, thrice. Which brings me to Groida. He wants superpowers. The entire planet would benefit from you ignoring this request. He has never been fit for purpose so perhaps you could just grant him a basic skill. May I humbly suggest washing up without decimating the crockery or awarding him an iota of charm? You know it makes sense. Well, thats it for another year. Do yer best for yer loyal fans or Ill be up the pole with all guns blazing to a rendition of Jingle Bells. Please, times pi. Ambrose X
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 13:01:13 +0000
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