Day 14: Today I am thankful for love that is patient, love that is kind, and love that is forgetful. I love my kids, even when I dont really like them. I love my husband even when he gets on my very last nerve (its just a figure of speech, honey. Really....), and I love my family even when I dont understand them. These feelings are generated in my mind and in my heart, so they make perfect sense to me. What I dont understand is how someone stops loving. I dont understand the concept of loving someone so much and then one day, just not. I know how a person can be so hurtful, so manipulative, so selfish that you lose any thought of charity towards them. I see how someone can cause so much pain that you feel physically ill just by being in their presence. But even when you have no desire to interact or communicate with someone, how do you just not love them anymore? It must seem as though Ive led a very privileged life, that Ive never had my heart broken, or else Id know what it means to stop loving someone. That is not the case. I know how horrible it is have your soul crushed by the actions of another. Ive lived through despair and brokenness and cried until there were no more tears, many times. But each time, there is always a tiny spark of love that never quite goes out. Im no saint, by any means. I know hate almost as well as I know love. When I hate, I really hate. But the few times that has happened, its never for anyone that I once loved. I understand despising the very essence of another human being. Its one of the things that disappoints me most about myself. I really wish I didnt have it in me to hate someone, but Ive seen a lot of evil in this world and sometimes hate is justified. I guess for me, once I love you, I love you. Even when you break my heart, betray my trust, steal from me, lie to me, use me, I still love you. I may be really angry, I may set up boundaries around my heart so that you cant ever hurt me again, I may think that Ill never fully trust you or allow you access to my home, but I will always love you. If ever Ive loved the person you once were, then somehow I can separate that from your current actions. And almost without fail, people make amends and seek forgiveness. It helps to remember that not everyone who struggles, does so gracefully. I know the person Ive been. I know the hurt Ive caused. I know the mistakes Ive made that have caused horrible pain to others, yet Im still loved. Ive disappointed many people and most of all, myself. But yet, Im still loved. People in my life have been more than patient, theyve been kind, and theyve been forgetful. They have patiently loved me through my struggles, and theyve been kind while doing so. Most importantly, theyve loved me enough to forget that I was ever unloveable. Im suppose Im living proof that Im not the only one who never stops loving. Maybe thats why I just dont get how someone could.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 05:18:28 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015