Dear CY, I fell in love with you exactly 6 months ago when we were sheltering from the rain beneath the porch of the old shophouse in Malaysia. I fell in love with you when you smooched me after I complained that you weren’t giving me enough attention. However, what started like a Disney movie does not end with a ‘happily ever after’. We care for each other very lot but it is not enough to sustain our relationship. I am too sensitive and demanding to you. You are too distant and uncommiting to me. It has been a tough 6 months for me because I am constantly hurting in this relationship. I crave so much of your attention that you are unable to give and you feel obligated to make me feel loved. Finally it took another overseas trip to reveal the flaws of our relationship. You decided to end this relationship because you do not want to hurt me anymore. You told me that I deserve a better relationship. I accepted that the relationship is not meant to be but you broke my heart so utterly because I wanted this relationship work very much. I had so much hopes and aspirations for our future and the possibilities that our relationship could bring. I hate you for not continuing with this relationship but you still choose to remain in my life. You even allowed me to be your emotional outlet while I slipped into one of the darkest period in my life. When I messaged you crying that someone knew about my break up, you asked me not to mind my friend’s words because break up is just a term and that “we found a more suitable way for us to be together”. It is so funny to hear this from someone who broke my heart but his words have so much truth in it. And unlike songs, it seems like lovers do not always become strangers after relationships end in real life. And you know what, as much as I resent you for hurting me, I am determined to forgive you every time such thoughts cross my mind. I will read this letter whenever I feel bitter and sad. I thank you for being so kind and caring to me. I thank you for being my pillar of support and a ready listening ear when I am feeling low. I thank you and I cherish you for all the good things we have together. And most of all, I thank you for having the privilege of loving you and making me feel cared for the first time in my life. Today is a symbolic date for me to let my feelings go. I know it takes time but I do hope that I would be able to see you merely as friends who understand each other well in the future without our past baggage. My counsellor said that feelings will fade over time and that it is possible for ex lovers to still remain as friends. And meanwhile, I will take good care of myself and not be so dependent as I am leaving this country for few months soon. Thank you and I love you. - D
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 14:01:47 +0000