Dear Eli, Happy first birthday, sweet beautiful boy. I know you won’t fully be able to take in these words until you’re much older, but I had to do more than just write in my journal – speaking to myself. Or just write in my blog – speaking to everyone else. Today, I need to speak to you. You’ve chosen to come into this world in a very unconventional way, and having gotten to know your spirit and personality the last year, it’s obvious why. There is nothing average, typical or “traditional” about you. You’ve raised the roof in our home and have rocked existing paradigms for 40-something parents and evenly spaced families. Deeper, you have healed the hearts of two mothers. Many times, people will say to me, “He looks just like you!” Sometimes I smile and say, “Yeah, thanks.” But most of the time, I tell them the miracle of your adoption story, in 30 seconds or less. How I sensed the promise of you as my guardian warrior son for 9 long years, lost 4 babies in the wait, was ready to give up…and then watched in awe as Heaven ushered you in. Untraditionally. To me, you are the manifestation of the Hand of God in my life. As I share how your birthmother, Jessica, lived with us the last 4 months of her pregnancy, and after many prayers and tears, courageously chose to place you in our home – how she knew she was carrying you for us, to help complete our eternal family unit – well, it is met with interesting responses. Usually, “Wow” or “Amazing” or “How often does that happen, that a girl just shows up in your life and asks you to raise her baby?” Like you, Jessica is far from traditional. Like you, she is extraordinary. She didn’t just show up, she was prepared and guided and inspired. Jessica didn’t just ask us to raise her baby, she moved the Heavens on our behalf and rent the veil of her own soul with the hardest choice any mother could make. You will always have a connection to her because she sacrificed her own emotional, mental and physical wellbeing to bring you to Earth. Her life this year has been one of tremendous grief but one of tremendous growth and blessings. To say that your parents are grateful for your birthmother is literally the understatement of the year. No, wait. To say, “I love you” would be. E, you must trust me when I say that you feel like my biological child. I have the same feelings for you that I had with your older siblings when, as infants and toddlers they were smiling at me and cuddling and nuzzling and cooing at me and holding their hands up to me to pick them up all day. In fact, because of our spiritual familiarity and the long road to bring you here, I would say those feelings are even more magnified. Although I know that parents don’t “own” their children, I have to say that you feel like mine. This year has had its share of ups and downs in acclimating to raising a baby after an 11 year hiatus. In quiet moments, though, when it is just you and I, and the world around us dissolves – I am in a state of pure bliss, knowing you are here, loving that we are at last together. I am suspended in awe, continually, at the thought of raising such a bright, strong, beautiful, magnificent child of Heaven. Thank you for choosing me, E. And hold on, my precious boy...the miracles have only just begun. Forever, Mom
Posted on: Thu, 24 Oct 2013 20:05:51 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015