Dear Mr Abbott, I am excited about the future prospects of Australia. I am thrilled that capitalist-centric business structures are once again in place. This will provide the wealthy with more riches which is exactly what they need! And it will put those marginalised ‘troublemaking’ groups in their place, exacerbating socio-economic inequalities. At least they won’t be causing trouble in the cities seeing as the only affordable housing they can access is my Uncle’s outhouse shitter 50km’s from the CBD. Great stuff! I am doubly joyed that you are cutting foreign aid. I mean, with all the luxury we have in Australia how can we possibly afford to give to those starving, war stricken, corruption riddled, and disaster prone third world countries? Abomination of thought! Whilst we are cutting ties to various countries we may as well strip bare any asylum seeker rights to safety, hope, and fresh futures. Because when you analyse it, Australia has a comparatively low influx of asylum seekers to the rest of the world. #StopTheBoats!! What’s also fan-bloody-tastic is the lack of development of the National Broadband Network. Who needs faster internet capacities to keep up with ever increasing digital economies of a globalising world? Nonsense! Sticking your grubby little fingers into the Australian Research Councils’ schemes is further brilliant governance. That way you can control what is researched - a hallmark of tyranny which is imperative in a transparent democratic society. Your education reforms are groundbreaking. Obviously it is the wealthy private schools that require assistance. The public schools must be left to fend, on the most part, for themselves. It is sound and flawless logic. The absolute, ultimate, mind blowing, and pure icing on the cake is your stance toward climate change. You’re correct, it isn’t much of a problem. Only the single greatest threat to mankind since the Ice Ages. However your Direct Action Plan seems viable after all. That should really work wonders in combatting the drastic anthropogenic changes Earth is undergoing. Also, let’s build more roads, promoting car use and producing greater emissions. Public transport is an empty investment. Trains can’t load more people than cars right? Roads use less land than rail don’t they? Let’s reject renewable energies and continue down the dirt-ridden pathway we traverse currently. This way we can really annihilate all hope of reaching GHG reduction targets. It makes sense! Dumping the carbon tax will deliver the final blow and top off an amazing feat of environmental destruction. After all, climate change is just a myth. 98% of the scientific community is wrong. And which 21st century country isn’t travelling back to the Dark Ages? You’re right Mr Abbott. You are oh-so-right about everything. Yours ever so sincerely, Simon.
Posted on: Tue, 10 Sep 2013 07:50:28 +0000
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