Dear Zane, Please keep anonymous I dont even know where to start. My heart is in so much pain. Im 25 with a six year old daughter an currently 6 1/2 months pregnant. I feel like theres no hope for me anymore I used to have the biggest dreams and currently in college but life has beaten any joy I had out of me. Ive been in a relationship with the same guy for four years. He took over the father figure role for my daughter but its been a struggle. In the beginning I left him on two separate occasions to try and work things out with my childs father. It didnt work out. And in turn tainted the trust in my current relationship. His whole attitude has changed even though, for the last three years ive done everything to show him I only want him. He begged me to have his child an though reluctant Im now pregnant. Since becoming pregnant our relationship has gone down hill. He is disrespectful and tries to justify it by saying its my fault because I left him previously. Now Im in situation where Im verbally an on occasions he has become physical. I feel like Im just damaged goods. I never wanted to be a single parent especially have two baby daddies an yet to achieve my degree. Im embarrassed and disgusted Ive allowed this to continue but I feel like no one else will want me with two baby daddies still in school. Not to mention I contracted a std from my first childs father that wont kill me but is incurable. My boyfriend knows and I feel he is the best I should hope for an No other man will ever want me. I have no close family and no one to talk to. I just feel broken and really feel if it wasnt for my child I would take my own life. I feel worthless an my future Is over. Gods Grace is all I have sustaining me @ this point. I just wanna die sometimes what good am I to the world. My dreams have gone put the window. I used to be so optimistic an positive and had dreams of working with women and inspire people but how can I, I feel like nothing anymore. Zane I feel broken and damaged and worthless just another statistic.... MY RESPONSE: Your man has a lot of animosity toward you because you left him twice before to try to work things out with your ex. But the deal breakers is him putting his hands on you, especially while you are pregnant. I understand that you feel like your life is over but it is not and there are men who will overlook the STD just like the man you are with now. Please get some counseling. The stress is not good for the fetus either. You are worthy of living and this trial can become your testimony. You need a support group. Talk to your OB/GYN about your depression. Your doctor will not judge you but will help you get the resources that you need. There is nothing wrong with having children by two men. Most single mothers did not intentionally end up that way. You will be fine and I love you. The world loves you and you will make it through this. Believe it or not, you have more going for you than a lot of other women. Faith makes everything possible...not easy. God bless.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 19:11:00 +0000