Dearest; the therapist seems to believe youd seek an affair with me again. He does not think you have let go. I think youll never even speak to me on the phone again, so seeing me to touch me is out of the question (I dont believe you will ever do that, even if I were willing). However, as the doc often sees things way ahead of what I can see, I have to pay attention. And it is good for you to pay attention too. One never knows what crisis might trigger even the most insane behaviour from either of us, or even worse, both of us together (!), so its important that you and I not set ourselves up for some sort of perfect circumstance where we engage in ways that ultimately are amazingly painful, at least for me. Should I do something (like that) which triggers depths of despair for me, I would need Rs support, and I would deny myself that that b/c I would feel I already did something that rendered me unworthy of her love, care and support. This would set me up for isolation and might trigger a depression which makes it difficult for me to function. So....while it would be ideal for me not to despair so readily, indeed, its where I could be with certain mishaps. Hence, as doc says there is no making an interaction with you safe, I work mightily comply with his advice and to disconnect from you. Understand? I know you do! So I am prudent for both of us. He says an affair is around the corner, I dont agree, but, if he says so, I abide by it.
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 14:46:07 +0000
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